a house of prayer for the nations

“My Heart bleeds for you America – you have been given so much and yet you have produced so little – so little for Me”, declares the Lord…

“Where are the souls? Where are the souls which I have entrusted to you?”, declares the Lord…

“Where are they?”…

“I have counted you worthy – I have counted you worthy of double honour but you have not brought honour to Me with the honour which I have entrusted to you”…

“I have allowed you to be a leader among the peoples – My peoples – of this earth”…

“All peoples are Mine – not in the sense of salvation but in the sense of ownership”, declares the Lord…

“And you have not been a good example to My peoples all over this world”…

“It is over America – your leadership has been removed from you and given to another nation – a nation smaller than you and one who will produce the fruit which I require”, declares the Lord…

“I require fruit and you will not harvest it”, declares the Lord, “and so I have given this honour to another nation – one smaller than you and you shall not see it – the honour which would have come to you through your submission to My will”, declares the Lord, “but this other smaller nation will see it – and see it soon”, declares the Lord…

“When I come I will have mercy on you – on those of you who are seeking Me with your entire hearts – there will be revival in this nation – of America – but it will not be throughout – only in pockets where My people – My Chosen people – have waited patiently before Me”…

“I am not a God of hype – I am not a God of performance – I am a God of humility”, declares the Lord, “and there are a few in your nation who will humble themselves before Me and before My ways – I am coming”, declares the Lord, “and when I come every mountain will be laid low and every valley will be exalted and every rough place will become a plain”…

“My Presence will do this”, declares the Lord, “My Presence will pervade your land and those who receive the liquid gold of My Presence will be saved and remain to serve Me on this earth”…

“I am coming – I am coming in peace – My Anointing is with Me – there will be no striving – those who know My Way of no striving will be found on their faces before Me and when I come My liquid gold will fall on them and they will rise to do exploits for My Name”, declares the Lord…

“Those who strive and try to prove to Me how good they are will be removed”…

“There will be nothing left for them – they will be removed”…

“I am coming to bring fire to this earth – and there will be fire – starting in your nation – there will be fire and I will exterminate all evil from before My Presence”, declares the Lord, “it will be removed and I will be exalted in it”…

“Too long I have borne patiently the reproaches of those who say they know Me and do not”…

“When your obedience is complete is the term I used through Paul to explain what it means that judgement will one day come to this world – as My Church waits on their faces before Me I will have the humility I need to judge the world – My Church will be judged first – always first”…

“Wait America – all you who hear this word – wait – and I will come and lift you up to serve Me”…

“You will not lead but you will follow – another nation who will be raised up to be used by Me – but you will follow them and you will learn humility through the things which you will suffer”…

“This is not your final end but a weakening of your power – your power will be taken from you and given to another – to another nation who will serve Me”, declares the Lord, “this is not your final destruction – that is yet future – but this is a weakening of your power – you – as a nation – will no longer speak for Me”, declares the Lord, “you will speak alone and the world will no longer equate you with either My Blessing or My Voice”, declares the Lord…

“The mantle is removed from you and given to another – to another nation who will do My bidding on this earth – watch and see – in due time this will surely occur – for My Name is the Lord the Creator of heaven and earth and I speak to you this day – America – and I say, “It is over, It is finished, The Glory has departed and you as a nation are no longer blessed by Me”, declares the Lord,” declares the Lord who has mercy upon you…

“There will be pockets of mercy but they will be limited and not everywhere”, declares the Lord, “there will be revivals in various places but the land will be like a barren wasteland”, declares the Lord, “in between the oasis’ of My Presence there will be a barren wasteland and howling wind through the dusty desert in that land – the land of the United States of America – they are not united any more – they are dissolved”, declares the Lord, “America, your time has come and you have not been ready – you are without excuse and I am now going to judge you – My Presence will judge you and expose you for what you really are”…

Another thing which the Lord wants me to speak on is Paedophilia…

In speaking on these topics, homosexuality, paedophilia, divorce & remarriage (and all other sexual perversions) I am not saying that I am perfect – far from it…

All that I am saying is that these things are sin…

Homosexuality is sin…

Paedophilia is sin…

Divorce is permitted (only in the case of adultery) because of the hardness of our hearts – apart from this divorce is sin…

Remarriage is sin (unless our estranged spouse has died)…

I have been shown by the Lord that I have had this spirit “locked up” inside me – paedophilia – from my great-grandfather – I was born with it – that doesn’t excuse me – it is a result of the fall – and to God I am Adam – I am responsible for the fall…

Paedophilia – like homosexuality – like rape, incest & pornography – like bestiality – like wanting to sleep with demons or with the devil himself – like wanting to have sex with any created thing or even I guess the Lord Himself (although I’ve never experienced that) – all these things have been in my background – and I’m guessing from what I’ve seen that these things have been in a lot of people’s backgrounds – especially those exposed to Free Masonry, witchcraft or the Druids…

This is my background – going back to my “roots” in the United Kingdom…

I am of mixed Scottish and English descent – mainly English…

In my generations I was offered up to Satan at Stonehenge…

I saw this in a vision in 2012 – I shared this with a sister previously…

I saw that my private parts and my mind had been claimed for Satan on a stone altar “way back in the day” when my ancestors were Druids…

It made sense of what I’d experienced especially in the sexual area and also in the area of my mind…

I’ve been seeing the Lord stripping these things – mentioned above – away from me – as I’ve understood more and more and more about His Grace and the new creation which He has made me…

In making this post I am saying the following…

We as believers need to own all the “crap” that is in our lives…

We see these things “going through our minds”…

We try to “stuff them down”…

They aren’t going to “go away” by being repressed…

The reason they are here is because we rebelled against God – we shouldn’t be surprised that we are “over-run” by all these desires “raging” through our minds…

Surprising us when we are least expecting them…

Earlier on – just after I was married – I had deliverance prayer for lust and saw during the prayer a pit of snakes inside me…

This didn’t make me feel that great about myself…

That night I was freed from at least two demons – I felt them go…

Later when we were in Dubai I was released from at least another one demon which I felt go also (I was in Dubai Mall at the time)…

When I was in Manila I was released from the Luciferian spirit – a spirit which glorified itself in a false light (I saw a lot of light around it and it looked really good – scarily good)…

I was also released from pornography – heterosexual pornography was my problem…

But there were still those other spirits “rammed down” there somewhere…

When the Lord called me to a deeper “letting go” – I think this began at the beginning of this year (or late last year) – He was calling me to “let go” of all this “stuffed down” stuff and really “let it all hang loose” and let Him eliminate these things from me – they really terrorize your mind – you know they’re “down there” somewhere…

The Lord has been teaching me to wait in His Presence as I feel these things wanting to express themselves…

As I’ve been doing this – almost passively – well really passively completely I guess – I’ve seen Him removing these things from me…

The desire is a want…

And it’s a want which you must see fulfilled…

This want is a fleshly want – encouraged and driven on by demons – to “grab” and “get” what you want…

I saw this quite clearly this morning (and over the last few days)…

God’s word says, “It is more blessed to give than to receive”…

When the Lord releases faith into our new self to believe this – all the other “props” which we’ve used to get ourselves “temporary pleasures” are stripped away – this is what I’ve been experiencing in these areas…

Selfishness is ultimately getting what I want…

To “let go” and “wait before Him in silence” like He told me to do in 2012 is impossible for the flesh – I saw this graphically in myself as I tried to do this again a couple of nights back – there were a few seconds of silence where the Lord started to work and then all this “filth” just took over thinking all its own thoughts and I saw that without the Anointing – the Holy Spirit – controlling my mind – that I am nothing…

The Lord has been wanting to show me this and He’s had me “step back” to get a really good exposure into what is practically left in me which He needs to work on…

We in the Church need to be free to share this stuff…

I’m making a beginning – laying myself down so to speak – because He’s told me to lead in this…

I’ve had a messed up past…

On the outside it doesn’t look like that…

My wife knows me better than most – she would be able to tell you that it’s been messed up – and she only knows what she’s seen (and what I’ve told her) – I get to see what goes on in my head “all day, every day”…

The fact that the Holy Spirit “overrides” these desires or doesn’t really isn’t the point – He came to set us free and set us free He will – He must – He must honour our desire to be free – when that desire is for His Glory and not to exalt ourselves about how pure or perfect we are, i.e. when our motivation for sanctification is pure He – the Holy Spirit – must honour it because this desire was created in us by Him…

I’m laying it down to set a platform for every brother and sister all around the world to lay it down…

As we lay it down – fulfilling James 5:16 – we get freedom…

I have offered all my sexual perversion to the Lord…

He has it all (Thank You Lord)…

I am not holding back – I honestly believe that I’ve had every sexual perversion known to man “in” me – I haven’t practiced them all (physically) – I probably haven’t practiced very many of them at all (physically) – but they’re all there (spiritually, in my heart) – I know it – I’ve felt it and I’ve still been feeling some “left” in me (which the Lord is working on and there may be some others which I’m not even yet aware of – I don’t know) – and it doesn’t matter how few or many I’ve practiced (that is not the point – they’re all there – or were – you know what I mean) – I’ve practiced them all in my heart – I have, I know this…

Also I now offer all the perversion of my mind – a lot of it goes on in the mind – what we dream about shows us what is going on in our minds – I offer the perversion of my mind to You Lord – whatever You’re going to do with me You will get the glory – there is nothing in me that I can glory in bar You (Your Holy Spirit) and bar the new creation which You’ve given me that can’t sin and can’t be unfaithful to You – which believes – which “breathes” by faith – and lives faith…

I am not a nice person (in my flesh) – I am not (there is nothing good which lives in me in my flesh) – all my niceness is just a façade to do evil (in my flesh) – that is what I’ve seen…

So I (my old self) is over – it is exposed – it is sexually immoral in every way imaginable – I have nothing to hide – I have been this – I have done this or not but I have done this in my mind – it’s there – so it’s a part of me – my old self – “sin which dwells in me”…

I’m owning it…

We are protected under God’s Feathers…

I saw this when I made the Homosexuality post – I saw myself protected under God’s Feathers…

When we confess before God – in the sight of men – because He’s told us to, what we have been – what remains within us – we are covered by Him…

The enemy hates true confession and will bring condemnation to – as a sister said to me this morning – “sew another couple of fig leaves” over the problem – I liked that…

Religious spirits are a mask for what is really going on underneath…

Why can’t we get close to certain people – even our brothers and sisters?

It’s because they’ve got too much to hide – the Anointing strikes them and they shrink back – why (I feel pride as I say that)?

Because they don’t know that they can be real before God – He has forgiven them – He knows their heart – He doesn’t condemn them…

He wants to set them free – completely – He doesn’t do this “all at once” – or not in my case He hasn’t – He has just gradually gone to work and delivered me progressively – “step by step”…

I am not much into ministry anymore – the Lord’s been dealing with this in me – when you are into ministry it’s really hard to be honest – there is “too much to lose” – sometimes we need to be called out of ministry and just let the Lord heal us…

What we have confessed and been healed (delivered) from is precious before the Lord cos then He can use this to set more and more and more people free…

This is true ministry…

To set the oppressed free…

The oppressed are those who are weighed down with demonic baggage…

I want to see all the oppressed set free…

I want all the demons to go…

And they will…

Because the Lord has told me that He will make an end of me – I’m not saying that I’ll ever be perfect (sinless perfection in this present body) – and if He makes an end of me then I’ll be able to pray as He leads me for everyone else…

And as He makes an end of more and more and more people we will see the freedom growing (all around the world – we will – we will – I know we will – huge opposition to believing this in my heart through fear)…

We are the cause of this problem – our wants…

We wanted to be independent from God – this is what we got…

Coming back to dependence is impossible for the flesh – it just can’t do it – I (my flesh) just can’t do it – but my new self – when the Holy Spirit is “enlivening” it, i.e. living through it, can – I’ve seen this – I’m not saying I’m perfect but I have seen it and any progress is greatly encouraging… 🙂

Be encouraged brothers and sisters “we have this” – “we have this” in God – the tide is turning – God is finding it in our hearts to be honest before Him and to “come clean” before each other…

All competition dies in this place…

I know what is in me – or has been – and so I know what is in others…

We can’t fool each other any more or try to play “power games” with each other – there is no point – He can see through it and I can too as He enables me – I don’t always see it initially but I (seem to) always see it eventually (that seems to happen with me – to God be the glory)…

We’re all on a level playing field on this one – so let’s “come clean” – as the Lord leads – in peace – no pressure from anyone (including me) on the outside – but lets come clean and let the bondages (which I’ve had plenty of and they bring me no joy) go…

And let the freedom break out…

There is no effort in this…

We don’t have to “try harder” – we just need to believe that if we “submit ourselves to God” we will naturally be able to “resist the devil and he will flee from us” (the Holy Spirit within us will do this through us)…

This has been my experience – what I’ve been experiencing – more and more and more…

Love you,

Andrew

A true friend is one who you can share your heart with – openly, getting it all out – and they cover you with Grace – like a canopy over you – which brings you healing – the removal of the things which have been tormenting you… 🙂

This is being heard – not the friend offering a solution but offering a non-judgemental ear – an acceptance which brings Grace to do what you know you should be doing but have not to that point in time been able to do… 🙂

Being heard sets you free… 🙂

This is what a true friend does… 🙂

This is the principle of James 5:16… 🙂

“I am not happy with the homosexuality in this nation”…

“I am going to remove it”, declares the Lord…

What we have received is not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, so that we may understand what God has freely given us. (1 Corinthians 2:12 NIV)

God has and does give us everything freely…

I think there is a serious myth in our thinking that we have to attain some sort of perfection before God will give us certain things…

If God has promised us something then He will give it as a free gift of His Grace – no good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly…

We could wrongly interpret this scripture to mean that we need to ‘try really hard’ to do ‘all the right things’ so that God won’t withhold any good thing from us…

We could ‘work ourselves up into a frenzy’ trying to achieve a level of perfection to attain to God not withholding any good thing from us…

But this is not our God…

It is to those who cease from their own work that God gives His gifts – and God actually starts giving His gifts to those ones (who will cease from their own work) before they are even able to cease from their own work…

So there remains a Sabbath rest for the people of God. For the one who has entered His rest has himself also rested from his works, as God did from His. (Hebrews 4:9-10 NASB)

I am so rebuked by this scripture…

I was lying in bed this morning chatting to my wife and it suddenly dawned on me that in one particular area – a very important area – that I’d been striving to ‘get myself into a position’ where God would ‘give me what I want’…

It was a good conversation – I learnt a lot…

Giving is free…

It must be created in the heart by the Lord…

It can’t be forced…

I know all these things but it’s amazing when something is really important how you can overlook this…

It is beautiful when things are given freely…

Everything which God wants us to have is given freely…

God sustains all that He gives…

He gives through human instruments…

But it is still He who gives…

When He doesn’t give it is not the human instruments ‘fault’ – yes, if we were still living in a perfect world then everyone would treat us perfectly but this is not the case and to ‘hold this over someone’s head’ is to live in denial that we are not living in a perfect world – I am preaching to myself…

It is the Lord’s ‘fault’ – so to speak – not that He ever makes any mistakes…

When we are frustrated in our wants or our desires and we experience pain – as I have been in a certain area – we start to see that there is still something there that needs to be healed…

It is not the human instruments ‘fault’ if the Lord hasn’t released to that human instrument the desire to freely give us something – even if that ‘something’ is something which we feel we really need – even if that ‘something’ is something which God seems to indicate that that human instrument should give us…

There is – as my friend told me previously – no ‘right’…

I’m remembering that now…

I will get to a point where I won’t even demand my ‘rights’…

All who we mix with – whether they know the Lord or whether they do not – are only able to give us what God has established in their hearts…

God touches human hearts…

Saul also went to his home in Gibeah, accompanied by valiant men whose hearts God had touched. (1 Samuel 10:26 NIV)

Whether all those valiant men knew the Lord or whether they didn’t God touched their hearts…

We read of Saul that one day God “changed his heart” but He doesn’t say that He gave Saul a new heart…

As Saul turned to leave Samuel, God changed Saul’s heart, and all these signs were fulfilled that day. (1 Samuel 10:9 NIV)

So what I’m saying there is – whether or not your ‘human instrument’ (whatever the situation might be) – knows the Lord – the Lord is able to change their heart…

That might not mean that they come to know Him…

The king’s heart is like channels of water in the hand of the LORD; He turns it wherever He wishes. (Proverbs 21:1 NASB)

So what am I saying?

We – or well I do anyway – beg and beg and beg the Lord for the things we want – the things which are most meaningful to us and we – or well I do anyway – try to ‘connive’ to ‘make these things happen’ but when they involve people who are outside our control (which obviously they are 🙂 ) we start to see just exactly what it is that we are actually doing – we are trying to manufacture our own happiness – and we are actually blocking the Lord from being able to supply our needs…

He isn’t completely blocked though as He brings us to these ‘understandings’ – these ‘ah-ha’ moments – where we understand what we’ve been doing and relax and rest in the knowledge that He actually does care after all (I am rolling my eyes at myself here – how thick can I be – but that’s the reality of my experience)…

So that person who really annoys you or who you have real difficulty in loving or accepting or just cringe inside when you’re around them – or keep feeling a sense of deep expectation toward – it is that issue – the issue behind that person – not the person themselves – which God is using to get your attention – as you yourself – I’m speaking to myself here also – are actually blocking God’s blessing on your own life – my own life – by our control…

Everything is freely given and God can’t be hurried…

If we ‘beat on God’s door’ over and over and over – as I do often – then eventually ‘the penny will drop’ that we’re not trusting His timetable in everything – and instead of ‘blaming’ His timetable we’ll actually begin to see that it is this attitude towards God which He’s trying to expose before being able to progress in our lives…

So it’s not a striving to do or be ‘better’ before God can bless us but instead it’s a ‘hanging limp’ and just ‘relaxing’ – “ceasing from our works” – to enjoy what God wants to give us…

This leaves us ‘high and dry’ in terms of control…

It literally is ‘the end of our life’…

Sure the mess still needs to be ‘mopped up’ – which will be on-going for the rest of our lives – but the fight is over – we’re in God’s Hands and we’re going to go for the ride…

I’m enjoying this – sharing this – I’m stuck at the airport at present trying to get away on a business trip and the plane has been delayed…

I’m starting to feel the peace…

I’m really grateful to my wife for speaking to me this morning – she shared some real wisdom from the Lord – thank you Darling…

Yes, I think I’ll stop there – stop focusing on the person and see that God is using this situation to focus you on your heart…

Once that surrender is made all of heaven will open and the peace will return (as it is for me right now)… 🙂

Love,

Andrew

The Lord told me to read “Where to from here” this lunch hour and now to blog again on confession…

I’m going to be quite honest in this post…

The “Where to from here” post which I blogged ‘back in the day’ scares me…

It scares me because I have had experiences of being misunderstood in the church…

It scares me because of the way people (I have seen) mistreat others who have been honest about what remains in them from their ancestors – maybe from traumatic experiences they have had or even maybe from a point of control which entered their lives when they were children – things which children really don’t know how to handle – I had one of these enter me when I was a child – I think I’ve blogged on that previously…

I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’ve been a pretty messed up person and the Lord has shown me this and so I guess I have quite a bit of empathy for others who are walking through brokenness…

I haven’t experienced that level of empathy from anyone else (back the other way – or I don’t feel that I have anyway)…

I’m just being honest…

So I’ve been in the position of being a listening ear to others and but having no one (this is what it’s felt like to me) who can really ‘handle’ listening to me (who I feel safe with) – except the Lord…

I have tried to talk to others…

Every time I have opened up I have been attacked (this is how it’s felt)…

Maybe not directly by them but by their subsequent silence or by a loss of relationship following the ‘open sharing’…

I am not blaming those ones I’m just saying that it is lonely to ‘walk alone’ in those situations (I have experienced this – I am not ‘making this up’)…

How do you find people who you know that you can trust to share the intimate details of your life with?

Only the Lord can make this happen…

We can’t ‘find’ these people – we can’t…

But the Lord does ‘draw us together’ with these ones…

It is possible to be so ‘open’ with someone and for someone to be so ‘open’ with you that you each become an extension of each other…

I know this…

And it is very beautiful…

I have experienced this in the spirit (the spiritual realm) – I have yet to experience it in the natural…

This is where the Lord is taking us – as those who belong to Him…

An understanding of our new creation…

An understanding of sin which dwells in me…

An understanding of who we are in Christ…

An understanding that sharing your besetting sins with others is normal and not somehow scary – whether you’re on the sharing or the receiving end…

I see this in my spirit – this is the breakthrough which the Lord is calling His Church to…

A longing in our hearts to ‘come clean’ – at least to one other member of His Body – to come clean and experience the healing of James 5:16…

I have this longing…

I have come clean – I believe I’ve shared all the ‘hidden shame’ in my life – well nearly all – with a sister and a couple of brothers – and another couple of brothers another time – I’ve shared a lot of it with my wife also – as much as she could handle – I’m getting better at that with my wife – we’re a lot more open now with each other than we used to be…

I have come clean and I have experienced a level of freedom but some of my ‘coming clean’ didn’t work because those I ‘came clean’ to weren’t able to handle my sharing – this has been a common theme – as I look back none of them (it appeared and still does appear to me) really knew how to handle it and I didn’t feel as ‘released’ as I should have been (this is the way I feel and I know I am ‘right’ in this – they may see things differently – I’m not sure)…

This just makes me more keen than ever to see this as a ‘safe’ reality for the Body of Christ – I know the Lord has ‘put this on me’ – to really champion this – as it is strongly on my heart – both for myself to ‘come clean’ and be released – in that James 5:16 way – and for others to ‘come clean’ and be released in that James 5:16 way…

There is no pressure in this – it’s as the Lord leads…

Somehow ‘church’ always seems to put pressure on things…

I don’t know why that is but those religious spirits and control spirits just seem to hang around ‘church’ to try and ‘stuff up’ what God is wanting to do – this will change…

‘Church’ will be a free place after the “Where to from here” picture or vision is realised in the Church…

I am convinced that this culture is what is lacking in the Church…

The leaders of the Church should be those who are open about their failings – not flaunting their failings but open about their failings – I’m finding it uncomfortable even typing this as I know the spotlight falls on me to do this before I can expect anyone else to do it – even expecting anyone else to do it is wrong – ouch!!!

So yes, the spotlight is falling on me…

I pray Lord for a friend – someone who is really my friend – who I can share these things with – someone who will be able to walk with me through all my failings – You know them all Lord – they are not hidden from You – You know them all – but someone – a human being who I can walk through this process with – model this process with so I can establish it on this earth and so that Your Church will be able to model it to each other…

I pray for this person Lord – You know who they are – bring this person to me Lord so that I could be honest with them and they could be honest with me and we could model this process for Your Church…

You know everything Lord and You know that I need this to progress – I can’t progress – in the natural – without this…

Please give this to me Lord…

Give this person a knowledge that they are able to handle what I will share…

Give me a knowledge that I’ll be able to handle what this person shares…

Give us both a peace to share whatever You want us to share – everything Lord…

Let it all ‘come out’ – all of it…

And let it be mutual…

And once this process is modelled let it be released in Your Church…

This is what I need Lord – I’ve been talking to You – You know all things about me – You know my heart – please give me this Lord – I’m not asking for condemnation – I’m not asking for ‘false advances’ – I’m asking for a true soul mate who I can share all these things with – I’m not asking for a soul tie – I am asking for a kindred spirit – a soul mate – like David and Jonathan – whose love was better than the love of women…

You know what I mean Lord…

I’m giving this to You…

Raise this up for me Lord – and for this other person – and raise this up for every member in Your Church – I’m not talking about going to a priest to confess – I’m not talking about that – I’m talking about true disclosure of the heart – literally opening your heart to another person – another person who you trust – who you trust in the Lord – opening and disclosing your heart – letting them see exactly what is inside it and them letting you see exactly what is inside theirs…

Complete disclosure and complete openness and complete acceptance by both because the Lord has worked this acceptance – this revelation of acceptance – in their hearts…

This is what I’m seeking Lord – please give this to me…

Love You Lord…

Please give this to Your Church…

Knit the souls of the specific members of Your Church (who You have chosen to be knit together like David and Jonathan were) together Lord – knit them together and let the unity be established in Your Church as You knit more and more and more of the members of Your Church together…

Love You Lord…

I see this…

I see this happening…

I Thank You in advance for what I see – I know that You are enough and I know that You have heard my prayer for unity and intimacy – heart intimacy – with Your Body – Your Church – one with the other – that we would all be one as You have chosen that we be in this chosen generation…

Love You Jesus…

Cover me always with Your Blood and that alone,

Let Your Peace cover us all – lead us all I pray Lord with Your Peace to guide us…

I see this – that this will happen…

Thank You Lord,

Andrew

It is with some trepidation that I make this post…

The Lord told me this morning that He wanted me to write on pride – I kind of knew yesterday afternoon or evening also that this would be my next post…

Pride has been a real issue for me…

It really has…

The Lord seems to have spent the majority of my life so far knocking me around to try and get rid of this in me…

I’m sorry Lord…

He really has knocked me around quite severely but looking back on it I’m not sad about that…

I’m glad…

I know that that means that He actually loves me…

He’s not letting me get away with it…

Perfectionism – yesterday’s topic – which has really set me free – that whole focus thing – I’d written about that before – but it always seemed to come back – focusing on being perfect – I really did have a perfectionism problem when I was younger – hugely introspective – and it did drive me into a severe depression experience back when I was around 23, nearly 24 years old – wow that’s so long ago now – but its still real in my mind as I remember it…

Introspection is an empty street…

It’s so unfulfilling…

It lies to you that if only you investigate yourself again you’ll break through into some nirvana of happiness – but it lies to you…

I remember the day when the Lord told me if I introspected myself again – I can remember exactly where I was at Varsity also – amazing – that I’d be grieving the Holy Spirit – it wasn’t words He spoke – He spoke to my mind – but that’s what He was saying – and I knew I would be in big trouble…

But I did it anyway – pride…

Then I got the verse from Him, “Simon, Simon, Satan has demanded permission to sift you like wheat” – I got this on a run or walk I think it was later (don’t believe it was the same day – it was later – I’m pretty sure)…

Soon after that I fell into a deep depression – I couldn’t believe anymore and I didn’t know the absolute truth of things – until then I’d had absolute faith and knew absolute truth – then I couldn’t believe it  – it was like it was blocked…

My pride blocked it…

My pride allowed the devil to torment me – God opposes the proud…

Those three months of darkness where I thought I’d lost my salvation and could never be saved again – were the worst and most tormenting three months of my life – I was in a dark tunnel and there was no light at the end of it…

Yet the Lord held me…

And on my 24th birthday pulled me through as I gave up completely and said, “Oh well, if I go to hell, I go to hell”…

At that moment my faith returned…

It was like Nebuchadnezzar – I was reduced to anti-depressants and even went to sleep in my parents bed one night – I was that tormented by demonic entities – even remembering it hurts…

Anyway – I saw in that experience that the Lord loved me and even though the issue which caused the perfectionistic spiral down into insanity was not dealt with I knew that the Lord had it covered – knew all about it – loved me regardless and would deal with it – and He has been – He has been – He still is…

So the pursuit of excellence or perfection is a vain pursuit – it is a pursuit governed by pride..

When the Lord showed me yesterday that I would never be perfect in this life I was at the same time quite depressed and also incredibly relieved – as I write today I’m feeling more and more relieved and am understanding the Apostle Paul a lot more than I did (practically) yesterday before that revelation came…

Not that I am perfect or that I have already attained but I press on…

I get it now…

I’ve said I get it before but I get it now – but in a few years I’ll probably get it more than I get it now (I’m smiling to myself)…

It is a vain pursuit…

The pursuit of God on the other hand is not a vain pursuit and when you take out of the equation – I’ve known this before I’m just remembering – the whole sin issue then you’re freed up to just focus on Him – every “God encounter” is a good one and a blessing to you…

Wow, I’m feeling free…

I don’t know that I’ve ever written this freely…

Truly our Lord is a strange Lord, i.e. He does things in a strange way – but thinking about it – it really is perfect…

Lucifer was in heaven, leading the angels in worship – that’s what I’m getting – and being incredibly holy – like he was perfect – it even says so in scripture – perfect in beauty – it was said of him – and then last night as I got home and was cooking dinner I saw – as I was thinking about what the Lord had showed me earlier – that one day he started looking at himself, “Oh, I am perfect aren’t I?” and pride was birthed in his heart, “I am just as good as God aren’t I?” (I’m just getting that now), “Oh wow, I really am” – God hadn’t – in His generosity –  held anything back from Lucifer – that’s the kind of God He is – He doesn’t hold anything back – He’s so generous – and Lucifer looked at himself – and kept looking at himself and stopped looking at his Creator – who was truly the Perfection of Beauty and not just the perfection of beauty which he (Lucifer) had been created in the image of…

And so he fell – he fell in his introspection – his looking at himself…

And this is what perfectionism is – looking at yourself and thinking in the knowledge of your own perfection that you will find fulfilment – well you don’t – I know this from first hand experience…

God opposes the proud…

That’s why the Lord has levelled the playing field with the new creation – everyone gets born again perfect and they can’t lose it…

They stay perfect forever – according to scripture – and they do – in their new creation…

They can’t lose it…

So perfectionism dies…

Yes sure, the Holy Spirit works on us – removing sin which dwells within me – from us so we can get a better view – like clearing away the debris or the vines which grew up around Sleeping Beauty – He uses His Sword too like the prince that came looking for her – anyway – sin which dwells within me is cut away to clear the view which has been obscured so we can see Jesus – who is the Way, the Truth and the Life – He is shining brightly – more brightly than Lucifer shone (the son of the morning) – he (Lucifer) was the highest archangel in heaven – I’m just getting that now – I wouldn’t be surprised if he was the first thing God ever created (I think I’m right about that)…

And yet he fell…

This is what the Lord told me yesterday, He told me that if I was perfect on earth it would make me too proud…

It’s a protection not to made perfect on earth…

I now understand what Paul went through with his thorn in the flesh – he begged the Lord to remove it – but to stop him (Paul) from exalting himself (because of his great revelations) the Lord gave him this thorn in the flesh – this messenger of  Satan – to buffet him – and he (Paul) rather gloried in his infirmities that the Grace of God would be even more powerful through him…

I’ve always been scared about touring around the world preaching to people – which is what the Lord’s indicated that I’ll do one day – and someone being able to come up to me in the crowd and nail me on some secret sin or hidden weakness and me feeling really embarrassed – I have – I’ve had that fear – I’ve had that fear of not being ready when the Lord calls me to do that – I have – I’m coming clean…

But I saw yesterday as He showed me what He showed me – that that revelation is the freedom I’ve needed to just go out and do what He is wanting me to do – when He calls me to do it – not before – not after – but when He calls me to do it – not resisting Him but trusting His Grace in all things…

He will give me the words to say – to magnify His Grace in any area where I am lacking if someone (Jezebel) nails me on something which He hasn’t yet dealt with in my life – for I am in His Hands – I can’t be any more holy than He makes me (practically) and I’m justified by His Blood – I am not under condemnation – and I am not magnifying myself but His Gospel – His Gospel is free – and it really is Good News – if we all magnify His Grace together and get our eyes off each other then we’ll all be free in the Lord – I’m not going to be standing before anyone on the basis of any righteousness of my own but only because He’s told me to be there…

That’s it…

If you shoot the messenger and try to destroy their authority by finding some weakness in their lives then you are very welcome to do this – this is what the enemy does…

He condemns the brethren…

I see this very clearly now…

I don’t want to do this to anyone else – he who shows mercy will be shown mercy – this is what I want from the Lord – mercy…

But I see that there will be those – and already have been those – who have done this to me…

The enemy has used them…

I may never be qualified by my own practical righteousness to stand before anyone and tell them what I know of Christ but I am qualified under His Blood and in His authority to do this if He tells me to – and that’s it – if He tells me to – for in His timing His anointing is there on the imperfect messenger to accomplish His purpose – David fulfilled God’s purpose in his generation – scripture tells us this – he wasn’t perfect but he fulfilled God’s purpose for his generation – and so we see that God uses imperfect people to do His work…

Abraham was imperfect…

Elijah was imperfect…

David was imperfect…

I am imperfect…

We parents are told in scripture not to exasperate our children lest they become discouraged…

I’ve seen this first hand…

I know that I could crush my son by saying something about him which I’ve observed and which is true but I feel the Lord telling me not to as He hasn’t dealt with that issue in my son yet…

You see the Kindness of the Lord?

I do…

He holds back His knowledge – He knows that those things – if brought up at the wrong time – would crush us – but the Jezebel spirit is happy to pretend to be the Holy Spirit – to be our conscience for us – but this is not the Holy Spirit – I’ve had those experiences – people – even people who are close to me – pointing out my faults but there is no anointing in it – no power to change and so I’ve learnt that that is not the Holy Spirit – when He comes He is gentle and He enables me to change – the Power to change comes with Him – He truly is the Spirit of Liberty – he who the Son sets free is free indeed…

Free from a focus on sin, free from a focus on self – free from a focus on others performance – free to look into the Face of God…

God gave me Psalm 84:9 last week and then again earlier this week…

Behold our shield, O God, And look upon the face of Your anointed. (Psalm 84:9 NASB)

This is where I want to live – with Him looking at me – I am His anointed in the sense that His Holy Spirit is in me – and in you – and in everyone else who knows Him – He is enough – His Face looking on us is enough…

Thank You Jesus…

Amen…

I’ve just had an interesting email conversation with the Lord…

I email my thoughts, etc, to the Lord and often – almost always – He talks back to me in these email exchanges which I send to myself…

I find it really liberating talking the Lord and knowing that those conversations are just between myself and Him – there’s a real security there for me…

Love You Lord…

Anyway, perfectionism – this is what He wanted to speak to me of…

What did I want – perfectionism or to know Him?

And I found it coming out of my heart that I wanted to know Him…

He told me that I would never be perfect in this life – and I was confused as I’d felt that previously He’d told me that I would be…

He told me that I was labouring under a delusion…

He told me that His Grace would cover me…

He told me that I would never be physically perfect in this life…

Perfection to Him was my submission to the process of His working in my life – the process of sin being exposed – hurting others – experiencing and giving forgiveness – and growing in Grace – His Grace was going to be enough…

As He spoke I felt this huge “relaxation” come over me like a weight lifting off me – He loved me and He wasn’t expecting me to be perfect – He knew how practically perfect He would make me and told me that I’d never be practically perfect on this earth – not until He transformed me when I met Him in the air – when I went through the final fire – I would grow in His Likeness – I would model this process to my wife – I see this as future – and she would grow in this process as she observed me walking through it…

I see this…

It is humbling and yet it is true…

My focus should be on knowing Him…

I have let go of a focus on being perfect, i.e. removing all sin from myself…

Everything must result from knowing Him – whatever comes out of knowing Him is “all good” – whatever that is…

Any other focus is bad – I’ve known this – but He reminded me of it this lunch hour and I feel to share it – be released – He loves you as you are – as a child of God – no matter how much or how little of sin which dwells in me is still in you (if that makes sense)…

So relax…

It’s humbling not to hide your sinfulness or not to strive to get rid of it (as we don’t want other people to see it in us) but this is what He’s calling us to do – we are perfect in this submission to this process – that’s what He told me…

I become a man after His own Heart in my submission to this process and in my focus on Him – if I’m focused on Him I’m not focused on my performance and thus don’t need to focus on what anyone else thinks about me – He has accepted me in this process – I am clean before Him in my new creation – He has accepted me – and I am covered by His Love – as long as I continue to view others in the same light and forgive them I am kept under this covering – and even my “flare ups” where I don’t forgive and get angry – He “moderates” and brings me back to forgiveness with no effort or stress or panic or striving from myself…

Love You Lord…

I choose You…

To know You…

Love You…

You are all my soul (my new soul 🙂 ) desires…

Andrew

The Lord has been speaking to me of death recently…

You just know…

There are things which the Lord tells you which you just know…

You know that these things are OK…

There’s nothing wrong with them but the Lord is pulling at you, tugging at you and He’s wanting more…

He’s wanting you to let go of these things and choose something better – something which is more of Him…

There’s more of Him and it comes through death…

It comes through letting go…

He’s not asking us to strive to do better or to do more – He’s just wanting us to let go…

And let Him do better and do more through us…

Often more is less…

Often more is letting go…

Falling into the ground and dying…

I have had some of the most amazing experiences of breakthrough in prayer just recently…

And it was after I let go of trying to be the solution or even being involved in the solution when He said to me, “You’ve got that now”…

And I know…

And when I know I’m unstoppable…

I have a Divine confidence which can stand against any eventuality – any eventuality…

I don’t need prompts in the natural to prop up my faith – I have my prompt in the spirit (the spiritual realm) from the Lord Himself…

This comes with letting go…

He loves it when we trust Him…

When we leave it to Him…

Nothing worth having can be grabbed…

It must be waited for…

And in the waiting we learn so much about ourselves…

What used to be us and He practically removes it from us…

We see it – we see what we were – He instructs us through this process and shows us what we were – we see it in black and white before our very own eyes – we see it and we see Him overcome it…

All this happens in the waiting…

We don’t care whether we do it – the thing He’s told us or had us praying for – or whether someone else does it – as long as it’s done – it’s for His Glory – He creates this unification – this unity – this Kingdom Perspective – within us…

I have been holding a few things up before the Lord – I have stepped back from these things – and as I’ve stepped back the Lord is showing me that I have them – I may never get any pat on the back from anyone for these things and I don’t want one – but I will see them and I will smile to myself knowing that I played my part in their establishment – in their creation on this earth…

That’s a satisfying feeling and one which pulls me closer to the Lord – He and I share that moment – He knows – and I know – that’s enough for me…

That’s satisfying…

When we’re called away by the Lord – like the Prophet Elijah was to the Brook Cherith – it is a precious time with the Lord – He pulls us away to teach us more about ourselves and also more about Him – His Love for us – His Unconditional Love for us…

Praise You Jesus…

We are called to let go of, to lay down, the things, the people, which we love…

We are called to let them go…

We are called to give to them and we are called to let them go – to let them go – their futures – their destinies – to the Lord – to let Him be Sovereign – as He is – in their lives…

For He is Sovereign – and He is Lord…

Every single one of us have a mapped out plan which He has set for our lives – we cannot escape this – His Love is Perfect and His plan will be fulfilled – He has a purpose for each of our lives which He will fulfil…

Where sin abounds grace super-abounds…

Where we see gross sin in our lives His Grace super-abounds to the releasing and pulling down of strongholds – all this we see – if He will not release us on earth then He will take us home to be fully released with Him in heaven – grace super-abounds – sin shall not be our master for we are not under law but under grace – you see how compelling His story is…

You see how compelling His Love is…

He planned and created us to love Him…

Our new self was made to love Him…

He will never force us to love Him but He will work the willingness in us to love Him and He will remove sin within me from us so that we see the revelation clearly of who He is so that our new self will love Him…

He will be loved by us but love is not self seeking – He is not seeking our love but He knows that it is more blessed to give than to receive for that is what He is and that is what He has created us – our new selves – to be – the only thing which can satisfy our new selves is to be like Him – He knows this – so He knocks out our sin within me to get it out of the way so our new self can find fulfilment in being transformed in the image of its Creator – becoming more and more and more practically (through our bodies which are kept alive by Him and controlled and owned by Him – His Holy Spirit) like Him – to the praise of His Own Glory…

We are loved and we will know His love – whichever way it goes for us in life we will know His love…

Eternity is a very long time…

I often wonder why things take so long with the Lord – I am (well my old self is) very impatient…

Why do things take so long – it’s like pulling teeth…

And then I see that I’m going to enjoy intimacy – marital intimacy – with the Lord forever – no time frame – and I’m going to know Him fully forever – and then I forget that the Lord operates outside of time…

To Him this is nothing – this pain which I’m going through in groaning to be made like Him – seeking more – wanting more – wanting reality – wanting to move – wanting to see the miracles – to see the salvations – to see the deliverances – to see the fulfilment of the prophetic word which He keeps giving me and encouraging me to believe – all these things – the pain of the waiting – the waiting – the waiting – it is nothing to Him – compared to the vastness of the Glory which is to be revealed to us – as Paul says – when we are revealed complete in Him – which we will be – either here or in His Presence – we will be revealed complete in Him and will know Him fully even as we are fully known…

Wow…

I can’t comprehend eternity…

I can’t comprehend a good time which never ends…

All good things must come to an end…

That’s a common statement…

Deep down I (my old self) believe(s) that – when He shows me that eternity is forever and we’re just going to love each other forever – I can’t comprehend this – I know its true but I just can’t comprehend this – it shows me it’s true for it’s just so far in advance of what I can comprehend – but it makes the hard times – the falling into the ground and dying times – so much more bearable – this is just a small snapshot in time – just a small blip on the horizon of time – and His plan is so huge – there’s no rush – He’s been telling me this – He’s given me these huge, unattainable goals – which He’s made me promise to Him in the Holy Spirit and then He turns around and says there’s no hurry – wow…

He told me this back in Manila, “there’s nothing you can do to stop this from happening and there’s nothing you can do to make this happen” and I’ve been seeing recently – more than three years on – exactly what He means in this – it brings you to a complete standstill – a be still and know that I am God moment – or season – in your life…

This is the Awe of God…

Who else would say that?

Who else?

No one…

Try harder…

Strive…

If you don’t do this I won’t do that…

But not our God…

He wants it to be all about Him…

All about His Glory…

All about His Ability…

He wants to show us that we don’t want it when it’s not about us…

Unless He’s killed that part of us (our old selves) off practically…

When it all comes down to it – it’s all about Him…

The whole lot…

We don’t like being put on the shelf…

We don’t like being hung out to dry…

But He does this to us – it strengthens our character – it shows us His priorities – and it shows us eternity…

We’re on a very small stage but a very large one at the same time – we stand – each and every one of us – before our Creator – we stand in eternity before His Throne – we stand right in the throne room of Heaven – we stand before our Creator and we speak to Him with no intermediary, through the work of our Intercessor Jesus Christ – the Messiah – our Saviour – and we speak in His Presence and as we are weaned from ourselves – we begin to reflect His Likeness and when we speak to Him we speak to Him through the Power of His Holy Spirit and we utter things which were made in Heaven – made in His Very Presence – and when we speak these things – having come to a complete standstill – all Heaven takes notice – we have Power with God – power with our Creator – He hears us for He hears Himself speaking through us – this is where we come to – this is where He brings us to…

Unless a grain of wheat falls into the ground…

This is very simple but the Holy Spirit showed me this this morning and I want to share it – I feel Him prompting me to share it…

I love my wife…

I have been growing in love with my wife…

I’m not perfect and I’m not pretending to be perfect…

But I am growing in love with my wife…

What He showed me was this – perfect Forgiveness will set my wife free…

She will be as free as the Lord wants her to be – but the soil of perfect Forgiveness experienced through me – I also saw this prophetically for further down the track (but I won’t go into that here) – was going to release her – I’ve been experiencing that in the last day or so…

The deeper I realise that the Lord has forgiven me and is forgiving me – not counting my trespasses against me – the deeper I fall in love with Him – He has shown me that He has and always will forgive me completely and not treat me as my sins deserve…

As I remain in His Love – which is how He has described it to me, i.e. remaining in the perfect Love of God or remaining in my belief of His perfect forgiveness of me – then He enables me to love my wife in the same way…

I had an experience this morning where I saw in the future that if my wife did something terrible – not that I’m wanting her to – that she would be doing this because she was scared of God’s punishment – like scared that He’d turn against her if she “stuffed up” – and that my support of her would be the difference for her to practically see the Lord’s forgiveness through me…

I saw this and I knew it would work…

We are to model what we know…

I’ve experienced this from the Lord…

The only way I can “stuff it up” is not to forgive others…

That’s it…

He’s told me this…

If I remain in His love this means that I forgive others “as He has forgiven me”…

No double standard here…

As He has forgiven me – which is completely…

I will do this…

Because I believe in His Love…

It is painful but it is also painful for Him when I sin against Him…

It is more blessed to give than to receive and the greatest thing that you can give is acceptance and forgiveness – it breaks all bonds…

If the Lord isn’t going to enable your spouse to receive His forgiveness through you – He will remove them from you – un-forgiveness cannot stand in the presence of forgiveness – or He will remove you from them – either way…

I saw that my forgiveness would work – it would set my wife – in the future – free from her uncertainty and set her at rest – never needing to “stuff up” again as she would know the Lord’s unconditional acceptance of her…

The sin leading to death is the sin of not bearing with one another and forgiving whatever grievances we may have against one another – biting and devouring one another – the world will know we are believers in the Lord because of our love for one another – grow in grace – means that we grow in grace towards one another and that in this we grow up into Him who is the Head…

Jesus will never ask us to do anything which He has not done Himself…

Think about that…

It will set you free…

Love,

Andrew

I just feel to exalt in the Lord…

I am so happy right now…

I’ve seen the Lord delivering me and I’m just so happy right now…

When we see the actions of sin which dwells in me it can be very disturbing to us…

Very disturbing – we try to respond – or sort it out – we try to overcome it…

What the Lord’s been showing me about waiting leading to deliverance I’ve had experiences now where I’ve seen this working – we are not trying to wait – the waiting is worked in us by the Holy Spirit – but its almost as though we’re viewing our lives from the side line – letting the Holy Spirit take control and we see the attack – the temptation – of sin which dwells within us – and we feel it – it hurts us – its barb hurts us – and then we see the Holy Spirit coming through on our behalf – or if we can’t handle it “knocking us out” so to speak – “shutting us down” so we can’t “stuff it up” – so precious – I had an experience of this last night – so precious…

God is greater than our hearts – He never condemns us – He reminds us who we are in Him – we don’t need to “shove” anything down ever again…

We can be completely transparent before Him – He truly is not surprised…

He is amazing…

Flesh hidden is flesh festering…

It is not flesh destroyed…

We have nothing to be scared of from our flesh or from any demons “piggybacking” on our flesh – the Holy Spirit within us is strong – greater is He who is within us than he who is in the world – and our flesh is in the world…

Hallelujah!!!

I won’t go into details – there is a time when the Lord will free me to share testimonies but it is not now…

Hallelujah!!!

Things impossible for us are possible for Him – as the flesh is telling the Lord – well actually it’s – yes, it is – the flesh – telling the Lord why its so scared and why it can’t do what He’s asking – we start to hear ourselves – and realise “this is the flesh speaking – this is not my new self” and so we wait for our new self to be released to speak – this is where your heart “skips a beat” waiting for the new self to speak – “will it really speak? is it really there?” you think to yourself – and as you wait the scene changes and you start to hear it clearly and without fear speaking…

God hasn’t given us a spirit of fear but of power and of love and of a sound mind – a sound mind is activated in peace…

Rest…

Our new self is never afraid…

Never and it is the Holy Spirit who elevates it or brings it out for us to see – not us…

We don’t strive in the Presence of the Lord and we never have to rush to answer the accuser – for he has no saying in our lives…

My friend needs to hear this…

He has no saying in our lives…

The accuser tries to get us justifying ourselves before him making him the judge – he is not the judge…

He is the accused…

And he is turning his position onto us and accusing us…

He stands under God’s judgement – not us…

We stand under God’s mercy…

Hallelujah!!!

The tender mercies of the Lord…

Hallelujah!!!

Though he fall, though he fall, he will not be cast down for the Lord upholdeth him with His Hand – as the scripture says…

Brothers and sisters – we are free…

Each and every one of us is free – He – Jesus – the Holy Spirit – the Father – is greater in us than he who is in the world – wait for Him – to arise in you and answer the enemy – silence his voice – and end his oppression over your soul…

Praise You Jesus…

He – Jesus – will complete what He has started in you – be assured of this – He will get “His man (or woman)”… 🙂

It is for His Own Honour that He does – and He loves you more than He loved His own life…

He will get you…

He will establish His Love in you – whether in this world or in the next (or both 🙂 Hallelujah!!!) – He will establish His love in you and you will worship Him forever (Hallelujah!!! Praise the Lord!!!)… (the Dancing Elvis icon from Skype would be good here)

I feel released to share some things which I’ve – as I look back – been learning from the Lord…

I suppose I’ve shared these things before but I’m sensing so much now that this is the way – and it feels so free – that I want to share them again – so that people can “stumble upon them” as they surf the net and find freedom in Christ – in their relationship with Christ…

Christ is good to those who are humble…

Being humble isn’t trying to fool God or yourself into thinking that you’re humble…

Being humble is about realising that in your flesh no good thing dwells…

As the scripture says…

It’s a once for all decision (there are many recommitments… 🙂 )…

It’s an understanding that you come to…

As Paul came to…

As I came to (and come to “over and over and over”… 🙂 )…

It’s a revelation which God gives you (and continues to deepen in you – over and over and over – we are so thick – well I speak for myself – I am so thick)…

There’s nothing good about me in my flesh…

When I say, “in my flesh” I don’t mean “in my body” – I’m not meaning flesh like that…

I’m meaning in what I used to be before I came to know the Lord…

That’s what I’m meaning – in this context – when I say flesh…

So before I came to know the Lord there was nothing good living in me…

Nothing…

But now that I’ve come to know the Lord I have a new heart, a new spirit and a righteous soul and the Holy Spirit living within this new creation within me…

I am blessed…

I am not cursed…

I am not under any curses…

I am blessed with Abraham the believer and as long as I don’t start holding bitterness’s over other people – “I will curse those who curse you” – then I remain in this state before God – forgiveness is very key to remaining in this state before the Lord…

I’m not saying that you should strive to forgive…

No, I’m not…

But if you choose to hold on to bitterness against someone when the Holy Spirit is working it in your heart to forgive them then you are resisting the Holy Spirit and this will be a blockage to the flow of God’s blessing in your life – you’ll be handed over to the tormentors and start living like you used to before you were saved again – I’ve experienced this – a few times and then the Lord has delivered me from it – Praise His Holy Name – He is Good – All the time (that’s His process to bring us “back on track” – handing us over to the tormentors)… 🙂

Anyway, back to what I was saying…

What was I saying?  I’ll just check…

Ah, yes, I am not under any curses – and I’m not under any curses not because I’m living perfectly or have no known sin or no un-confessed sin or any other “treadmill” that we might try to “get ourselves into favour” with God…

No, I am blessed because I am under the Blood – and the Blood – like Love – covers a multitude of sins…

Just in my admission that no good thing dwells in my flesh – that is enough – that is enough for the Lord…

I have ceased trying forever to try and convince the Lord of any righteousness in me (I’m sure I’ve have to revisit that statement – but anyway… 🙂 )…

There is none…

I’ve committed most sins which are imaginable…

Either physically or in my heart…

This is irrelevant to God – He knows I’ve sinned – in my heart He sees that I’m not like Him in my flesh – He is not stupid – He sees this – He knows this – He knows this about you too – so stop trying to fool Him… 🙂

Give up…

He likes this…

Give up…

Admit that you are what you are – admit it to Him – start with Him – if you think He’s telling you to tell someone else before He’ll deliver you then think hard about that…

Would He really want you to do that?

Tell Him first – if He then says He’d like to send you to someone to confess these things to then do what He says but only do it if He gives you His peace – confessing our sins one to another can be a freaky thing if you confess to a person who is struggling with the same things and hasn’t come to that place of openness before the Lord about it – you can get nailed by condemnation – and this can hurt – believe me – I’ve been there…

Misunderstanding during this process really isn’t helpful – well, it hasn’t been for me – I suppose it has in a way – in that it makes my heart purer – you kind of examine yourself more (not sure exactly how helpful that is thinking about it) just to find that you’re OK in the Lord and sin within you isn’t…

You always come back to the same place – I’m sharing my heart here – I hope this is blessing someone – somewhere – who needs to know this – or a whole lot of someone’s… 🙂

Anyway, getting back to the point…

What was the point?

I’ll just check…

Ah, yes, giving up on trying to convince God that you’re any better than what you always will be in your flesh…

Your flesh will never change – it will never submit to God – it will never be able to obey His command…

Often when He speaks to us our flesh hears it and tries to do it…

Why?

Because it is proud…

We don’t always see that it’s our flesh trying to do it – I haven’t anyway – but I’ve been starting to see this clearer as He’s been coming to me in more power or in more clarity – when He shows up you know that you’re not holy – it reveals things in you – in the presence of Light you see your darkness…

If you don’t want to be exposed to yourself – don’t ask the Lord to come closer to you or to presence Himself in your room or in your house – stay with the darkness – even though this is killing you and their presences are evil – stay with the darkness – but if you invite the Lord to come near – He will expose your wickedness – so you may as well just admit that it’s there and then its not such a big deal, yeah? 🙂

I know that what I’m sharing is true – I’ve been there and I’ve seen it…

He does expose our wickedness – there’s an awkward silence as He comes near and exposes it and there’s nothing in us which can even pretend to come up to what He’s asking us to do and yet we know its Him – we know its true – and then as we admit that there’s nothing and just continue to wait – from our heart – from our new heart – an involuntary response comes – “I’ll do it Lord” – it just happens – it just comes out – after the confession of our inability – it’s like our flesh is revealed and we see that it’s got “nothing to offer” and then after that “humility” then the Lord releases our new heart to “speak” and it does…

It just naturally speaks – empowered by the Holy Spirit – and when He speaks through us – when He speaks – it’s powerful and its enacted and it’s life giving – and it establishes confidence and peace in us…

I know of what I speak…

It’s a blessing when He speaks…

But He waits for that admission – that admission of inability – it can’t be faked – it has to be real – you are in the Presence of God – you can’t fake it in the Presence of God – He doesn’t like that…

He is not impressed with faking it – He will “call you” on that – He will not accept that – He loves you too much to allow you to fake it before Him – He will not allow that – He wants all of you – all of you – for He knows what He is capable of doing through you and He knows that this will “blow your world” – you will be so blessed when He is “all” through you and He knows this so He goes through the messy process to get you to that place of freedom – if you don’t want His freedom when He comes near – if you resist Him – a settled resistance – then He will (eventually) take you home – He will not strive – His Spirit – with you forever – He will take you home – but He doesn’t want that for you – He wants to give you life…

Life Abundantly…

He will do this for you in heaven – if you resist Him on earth – He will – either way you will know Him for this is what you were created for – to know Him – He glorified you at the cross – He predestined you to know Him – and so you will – either on earth or in heaven – you will know Him – He will not be “outdone” by you – you will know His Love and you will be won by His Love – either on earth or in heaven – He will not be beaten by you – He will pursue you in His Love – it is His Love – His Unrelenting Love – which pursues you – you know of what I speak – I know you do – I know you – I know your heart – for all of our hearts were created by Him…

And He has shown me mine (and continues to do so – I am sharing what I know – that is my limit)…

Anyway, so what was I sharing?

I’ll just check…

Ah, yes, just the honesty – having the honesty before the Lord and when He appears – when He comes – like Peter “put his foot in it” on the Mount of Transfiguration – when He “shows up” we instantly try to “get ourselves together” and think of something to say…

But we learn over time not to do this – we learn to wait…

We learn when He comes to “keep our mouth shut”…

To let Him talk – to watch the response of our flesh – to let our flesh “have its say” and then to let Him “take over” and create the response from our new heart – our new spirit – our new (righteous) soul – which will answer His question – He is asking the question to reveal to us the wickedness of our flesh and at the same time to reveal to us the righteousness of our new creation – He is doing two things at once – confirming our “lost-ness” in ourselves and our “found-ness” in Him – Praise His Holy Name – He is Good – All the time… 🙂

Praise You Jesus – I’m getting the joy – Woohoo!!!

Praise You Jesus – You are so good – and as we kind of passively “sit by” or “sit back” (on the inside) and watch this happen we see the Power of the Holy Spirit emanating from our new self and the confessions or the words or the statements which come out of our mouths are from God – I have experienced this – and it creates faith and peace – unshakable peace – “get out of bed” peace – motivating peace in you as you see the powers of darkness defeated by the Triumphant God who owns you – for He owns you – He possesses your body – He bought it with His Blood – He can do with it whatever He likes because it belongs to Him – you gave it to Him at salvation – you did – you laid it down at salvation – you died and your life is now hidden with Christ in God – and the Holy Spirit is the Only One who gives life to your mortal body – its a living miracle that a dead body could still be living – but that is what you are – by all rights you died and so your body should have collapsed on the ground and decayed when you were saved but instead the Holy Spirit came into it (along with your new creation which you’d been given just before salvation) and gave it – your body – new life – I know of what I speak and I know that I speak the truth – so truly He owns you (you will get a glorified body when He comes again… 🙂 )…

Your flesh – like mine – doesn’t like that – it opposes it – I feel it – mine does too – but it’s not me – I am a new creation in Christ and I no longer live…

I am so happy…

So we must see that He has already covered us and possessed us through His Blood – He has already released us from our sins by His Blood – He has – we are released – It Is Finished – it is “all done” and it is just a matter of time before this is manifested in the natural – and at the end of the day – ultimately manifested when His Spirit takes us out of this world and takes us to Jesus – with whom we are to remain with forever – we have been given to Jesus to be His Bride – and He will make us Holy to be forever consummated with Him…

In His Very Presence – in His Very Presence – He is preparing us for His Presence…

Heaven is where we go if we die before He comes again…

If we remain then we will come back with Him to earth – from the clouds (after I believe we go up to heaven for the Marriage Supper of the Lamb – that’s my personal conviction – not being dogmatic about that) – and rule with Him for a thousand years and then we will be forever with the Lord in the new heavens and the new earth which He creates after the Final Judgement – wow…

What a future…

So we see that He is preparing us for this – He wants us to be ready – He wants us to come and when we come He wants us to be ready – but we also see that “right from the beginning” we were not just justified but we were also glorified – it was a “done deal” – He purchased us with His Blood – He paid the price – His Love is unmistakable – I was very blessed by a YouTube clip of a movie about the crucifixion and a song, “Such Love” recently which a sister sent me…

We cannot doubt the reality of His Love for us – He is serious about His love for us – very serious – and He has a job to do – to bring us to Himself – His Holy Spirit has a job in us to do – so we shouldn’t frustrate Him – our flesh is the thing which frustrates Him – our new self will never resist Him – when the Holy Spirit enflames our new self we soar – we soar on wings as eagles…

I feel to stop there – that’s the limit of my sharing… 🙂

Love you all, your brother,

Andrew

Was the Lord really a hard man?

Did the servant misunderstand who the Lord was?

I believe he did – the Lord’s response didn’t repeat the servant’s understanding of Him…

If we believe the Lord to be a hard man how does this affect our response to Him?

Have you ever met – on the internet or in real life – a person who gives you the impression that God is a hard man – you have to be so careful around God?

I have and there is no life in them – they are suckers up of the life that it is you and make you – if you hang around them for long enough – to doubt the freedom which Christ has brought you into…

It is for freedom that Christ set us free…

A God who just wants you to wait for Him to transform you and then “go with” His “moving” in you is not a hard man God…

His yoke is easy and His burden is light – this is the truth – He loves us that much…

If we have the hard man God mentality then unfortunately that is what we experience from Him – God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble – if we are proud and try to make ourselves suitable for Him before we do anything for Him – we are actually resisting Him and His work in our lives…

God calls us to serve Him even when we are not perfect…

Yes, if He wants us to reach a certain level of perfection before He releases us into a certain call then He will prepare us for this – and I believe in this – but there are other times when He asks us to do things when we don’t feel ready at all…

Moses experienced this – after being prepared for forty years in the desert he wasn’t ready (he wasn’t willing – I know this in my spirit) – and tried to fob God off – when the Lord told him to go and do the thing which the Lord had told him – and prepared for him – to do…

Why did Moses do this?

I don’t know…

But God’s anger burned against Moses when he wouldn’t believe what the Lord was telling him…

Why do you think God got so angry with Moses?

I think it was because the Lord had specifically said what he was to do and Moses didn’t just believe it – not trust in his present level of yieldedness – but just trust in the Lord…

Do you see what I’m saying?

We can’t wait until we believe we are ready to serve God – we must respond to when He calls us into His service – and when we are called we aren’t saying, “but I’m not ready” but we’re trusting in the Lord to lead us anyway…

Does this make sense?

I think it does…

The Lord has taken me through a few different seasons of waiting and I know He’s told me to do this but I know there’s a day coming when this will shift and He’ll say, “right, now we’re ready to go” and I’ll probably go, “well actually I’m not ready” – but I hope that doesn’t happen – I hope I respond, “yes Lord” and not worry about how He’s going to do it – I think He’s going to help me with this so I can “go with” Him in this…

I had an experience which is still on going – where I went ahead of the Lord and because of that I really struggled to “come up” to the surrenders which the Lord was calling me to…

When we “flow” with the Lord He is able to release to us at the time – the appropriate time – into the “level” which we need – so we’re kind of “flowing” along with Him not knowing what’s coming next and not knowing how we’ll handle it but having a peace from Him that we will – I’ve experienced this…

I’ve blogged on things which I know nothing about because He’s told me to and as I type the wisdom comes out of my fingers and I re-read what I write sometimes – quite a few times – at a time when I need to hear it – and then I see the Lord’s wisdom speaking through me – I know it at the time but don’t always understand – sometimes I learn later – or as I read it again later on down the track…

We must trust in the Lord and realise that He isn’t a hard man…

He’s not…

He wants us to succeed…

He’s not saying, “clean yourselves up before I can use you”…

He’s saying, “surrender to Me and I will make you capable of serving Me as I lead you”…

Yes, there are levels and you do have to have certain things established in you to walk in different levels but the Lord does this in you as you naturally “travel along” – you don’t have to go and hide away or live in a cave until you sort yourself out until you can be used by God…

I have seen this – observed this – and I know that it doesn’t work – it just doesn’t – time away from something doesn’t make it go away…

Absence makes the heart grow fonder – so if the root isn’t dealt with in your heart it will come back with a vengeance…

I’ve experienced this – it doesn’t matter how far down you “stuff it down” it will always come back – so what’s the point? – what’s the point of distancing yourself from the things which tempt you?  What’s the point?

Those who believe that the Lord is a hard man say, “do not taste, do not handle, do not touch”…

“Make sure you don’t do this, this and this”…

That is the hard man attitude…

What God actually says is to let go – to stop trying to improve ourselves and to let Him do it – when He does it, it works – it sticks – this is what He’s taught me – it is scary – you feel “exposed” but it works and it works faster than any other way (other ways don’t work at all)…

It doesn’t hurt to surrender to the Lord – yes, it hurts in terms of the fear factor that needs to be overcome but once that is overcome its not long term pain – it is often over very quickly – weeping may last for a night but joy comes in the morning – I’ve experienced this – He holds it over me so to speak and I can’t escape it but then after that pain, it’s over and I’m released – its very easy…

It freaks you out living this way but He is in control and at the end of the day its only important what He thinks of us…

What I’ve found is that He is the opposite of being a hard man…

He is so “easy” when we are surrendered to Him – sometimes He’s “hard” and that’s when we’re being proud – He’s “hard” to us when we’re proud as He’s trying to break this out of us…

That’s been my experience anyway – I know this is the way He works – but when He breaks through its precious – so free…

Up and down, up and down, surrender after surrender – with breaks in between – but we’re learning of Him – learning that we can trust Him and learning that He is patient – He is patient with us – He is – while we are patient with others – but I’ve also seen on the flip side – when I’m holding expectations over others then the Lord “turns” and starts doing the same to me…

Why?

He is reminding me of how it feels – I let go and He lets go of it over me…

That’s my experience…

I’m rambling…

All I want to say is that the Lord is not a hard man – He is so easy – He has so much more freedom than we’re aware of…

Like the other day where He showed me that I could be a father, brother and friend to any female on the planet – I was brought up to avoid females – avoid temptation – but it stuffed me up – it made me go all twisted inside and it’s only now as I let go that I see that I can do all these things and trust the Lord – the Lord – Jesus – was a friend of sinners…

He was a friend of prostitutes…

And yet He never sinned…

He didn’t cross the line into becoming involved with females or males in any other way than as a father, brother and friend…

Jesus wasn’t given a wife on earth – it wasn’t the Father’s will – it just wasn’t…

He wasn’t given any sexual desire because it wasn’t the Lord’s will for Him…

And never will be…

I feel free – the enemy would tell us not to associate with members of the opposite sex and he does this to keep us in fear – yes, we must flee fornication – we must – we can’t stand in the physical presence of sexual seduction – but our purity – worked in our hearts by the Lord by enjoying what He has freely given us – is enough to keep us pure in those situations and politely “draw the line” between friendship and sexual involvement – I am speaking plainly – I feel someone needs to speak out about this for those who are “trapped” or “reclused” by these Satanic lies…

I hope I’m “making sense”… 🙂

The Lord is able to help us in temptation – we don’t ask the Lord to lead us into temptation – but to the pure all things are pure – that is our promise – and as I blogged on here somewhere recently – even if we find in ourselves impurity then as we follow the Lord – and not bury our talent in the ground – He is able to make us stand…

The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord and He delighteth in his way, though he fall, though he fall he shall not be cast down for the Lord upholdeth him with His Hand – as the scripture in song song says…

Exciting stuff – so throw off those inhibitions – the Lord wants you to trust Him – He will always protect and hold your hand when you step out and trust Him – but if you shrink back His soul has no delight in you (even though when we are faithless He is still faithful – but this is a different experience – the shrinking back is refusal to trust in the Way and a rebellious decision to trust instead in ourselves – I’ve been there on both counts) – what pleases the Lord?

Faith – and without faith it is impossible to please God – what sort of faith?

Trust – trust in everything He says – obedience is trust in everything He says – whether that puts us outside our comfort zone or right in it – either is possible – and we must (should) trust Him for both – I don’t say should with a gun at your head – I’m just seeing that He is worthy of my trust – He is – and so I’m starting to want to trust Him – more and more and more…

Reveal Jesus to me…

Reveal Jesus, the Father and the Holy Spirit to me…

How can we surrender to Jesus when we don’t know Him?

When we know Him we will naturally want to be like Him…

He came to set us free – He was free – He was not miserable on earth – even though He knew sorrow and grief – He was not miserable…

Where the Spirit of the Lord is there is liberty – Praise His Holy Name – remember this – anything else is of the devil…

So, taste and see that the Lord is good – how blessed is the man who trusts in Him – as the scripture says – Praise God – Love you all, Andrew

From the place of waiting we experience deliverance… 🙂

Waiting leads to deliverance (He told me this yesterday afternoon / early evening)…

“I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me. (Galatians 2:20 NASB)

As we stop trying and watch as the Lord battles on our behalf – overcoming evil within us – He is free to do His work…

I have been so afraid…

I keep hearing what the Lord is going to do – He keeps telling me and I keep saying to Him, “I’m scared that I’m going to stuff this up”…

And twice now – on two different occasions – He’s “had me up on this” and said, “Why are you afraid Andrew?” or words to that affect…

He won’t “let it go” and “pushes” me (not in a bad way but in a persistent way – where He won’t let me let that comment “slide” or escape answering His question – I’ve tried to)…

“Why are you afraid Andrew?”…

“What does that mean?”…

“Does that mean you have more faith in the devil – to stuff you up – than Me to deliver or hold on to you?”…

“Or does it mean that you have more faith in sin within you to stuff you up than you do in Me to deliver you?”…

He really helped me – it was firm – as it had been the last time – but it was kind – it is kind of the Lord to discipline us – I felt like He was taking a “firm hand” to me but in a loving and good way…

To be afraid is to live in rebellion…

Fear is rebellion…

Trust is submission…

Trust is surrendering to the word of God…

This is what He showed me…

When He speaks to me and I submit I am trusting Him – “Yes Lord” – I am surrendering to His word – I am lining up as His servant…

I don’t have to do anything – all I have to do is believe His word (and speak it out – He is showing me) – and this I can’t do either – but He helps me – He gives me the ability to believe (and to speak it out – it comes out naturally – flowing and with authority – He’s just shown me now) – as I wait…

And in the place of waiting there is no fear – it is a constant state of peace because you are aware that you are not holding yourself up…

You are being held up and you are surrendered as to the timetable for your deliverance and progress – you know that as you wait He will act – you just know – and this knowledge – in the waiting – is your deliverance…

He showed me over the last couple of days that my waiting isn’t for no reason – I have been the problem – not Him – He is waiting for me to surrender to Him – whenever He comes close – as He did last night – and this has been happening more frequently – last time was in Fiji last year – where He is “calling it in” – and when He comes close I suddenly see that I’m not as holy as I thought I was – He is infinitely more holy than I am – and I look like nothing in comparison to Him…

Nothing…

And I see – in my waiting – that I have been hindering Him not the other way round – I’ve been feeling like He’s been “holding out” on me – “Why are you doing this to me God?” – but now I see that I’ve been holding out on Him – when He comes close I find myself retreating from Him – it is so scary – He is so holy and He is telling me – offering me – to take over – and I thought I’d really like that – but when I get “up close and personal” with it – when I see that He will literally live through me – and all that that could mean (will mean – I see now) – I see that instead of embracing it I am shying away from it…

And that is where He encouraged me last night again as He came close that He was kneeling with me and His Hand was on my head as I was overwhelmed – going through the rigor mortis of death – that He would hold me and ensure that I made it through – that I could wait – I could wait on Him – not strive – not get scared and give Him a “quick” answer (which won’t achieve anything and won’t “stick”) – that He would wait for the answer to be created in me by the Holy Spirit (an answer that would endure and “stick” – I’m seeing now)…

He was showing me that all trip – I’ve just been on a day and half business trip with work – that He was “all over it”…

It’s so much about us – we just don’t see it – until He comes close and in His Presence everything is revealed for what it is…

He showed me that there were just two choices ahead of me – (1) to wait and allow Him to deliver me – to complete the work He’d begun and let Him fill me and “take over” (and all that went with it – and the people who’d be affected by that decision) or (2) I could choose to strive or take over or do my own thing – whatever that was (turn away I guess) – and not wait – and if I choose that – He would take me home (He will make me know wisdom – as Psalm 51 says – that is His purpose for me – which ever way you “slice and dice” it – that is His purpose for me – but I would feel ashamed before Him if I chose that second path – I saw that very clearly – what John spoke of in that scripture as He explained it to me – I saw it)…

It’s like things have narrowed right down – this started in Fiji back in late October / early November last year – He is serious – and He is going to “get His man” – one way or another…

And I saw that it was in love but also that it was Sovereign – at the same time He was assuring me that He wouldn’t let me “stuff up” and that He would ensure I didn’t need to be removed (I wouldn’t shipwreck my faith – as He’d encouraged me through another brother previously by way of confirmation to something He’d told me) – but the realities were “put before me” – and yet there was no “gun at my head” – I felt complete peace and covering – and in that place of waiting – letting Him do all the work – I knew I had no excuse for not remaining and making it “all the way” cos He was going to do all these things in me – I’ve started to see that He is more serious about these things than I am – and His seriousness is sincere (at a deep level I am really beginning to see that He is serious and that He cares about me) – it is pure – whereas mine has been tainted by pride…

There is nothing left for you when Jesus takes over – nothing – that is what I have been seeing – nothing…

Literally nothing left for you…

You are a slave – but a protected slave and a slave who sees His Master…

A slave who sees His Master working through him – that is all you have left…

All…

He really is real and He really is all powerful and He really will do what He says – He will move heaven and earth to make you like Himself if this is what you really want…

But when you see what He is really like and it comes to the point of death – where it is very real to you – you (well I did) start (and have started) to see the resistance in you and start to see just how much sin within you has “held sway” at a deep level in your life…

He told me that He didn’t care about sin within me that it wasn’t me – He told me that He would remove it all and that I was what I was in Him – it was so reassuring to hear this from Him…

It can become quite ugly and “in our face” as it comes up to be removed – I have been walking through this – a last ditch “battle” before it is removed – it’s an ugly and messy business but it’s worth it – He is worth it – there’s nothing in the other way of life – the armour of light – as a sister reminded me recently through another blog – is transparency (the Lord showed me this a while back) – and true deliverance is true honesty – there is nothing for any of us to be proud about – the Lord has done all things well (not us)… 🙂

This is why He is patient – He knows that we are just dust – He will be as patient with us as we can be with Him in knowing that He will remain patient with us…

Sounds circular but that is what I’ve been experiencing…

Layer on layer…

Deeper and deeper…

He is so good…

He is so faithful – He brings us up to surrenders and then holds us through them because we’ve surrendered to them – or He has surrendered us to them – circular again – but there is no fear here – the Father chooses who He reveals Jesus to – He told me this – through that scripture – and it made sense – why I see certain things is because He’s chosen to reveal Jesus to me – He put this desire in me and we can know that any desire which He puts within us will come to pass – it will because He put it within us – that is our assurance – when things are black – and also the reality of sin within us shows us the greater reality of the power of God to overcome and break sin within us – remind the devil of that the next time He torments you with fear – also remember if you’re feeling afraid when the Lord talks to you because of yourself that He’s not interested in the you who died as your life is now hidden with Christ in God – He is speaking to the new you – not the old you – the old you hears it – but its dead – it no longer exists – so we need to start ignoring it – when it speaks it doesn’t have the right to dictate to us what we should be doing – it is a dead corpse speaking – Praise You Jesus…

I died and my life is now hidden with Christ in God…

The life I live in the body I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave Himself for me…

This is the truth – I don’t have to believe it to make it the truth (I don’t have to hype myself up to believe it either – or shout it out hoping that if I shout it out it might be true in reality) – it is just the truth – no matter how I feel or how I perform – this is the truth – the life I live in the body I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave Himself for me…

Everything He tells me I say, “Yes Lord” – I have an attitude of gratitude and thankfulness and surrender – this is what He’s told me – I’m not pretending to be practicing this perfectly by any stretch of the imagination – but this is what He’s shown me…

Love you all,

Andrew

(Ps. Waiting is the process of “Do not strive in My Presence” on the one hand and “Do not resist My Holy Spirit” on the other – He showed me that last night – that waiting was the process that brought those other two things, which He’d previously shown me, together)

I feel to speak about relationships…

The Lord showed me (as a man) that there were five possible relationships for me with a member of the opposite sex (a female)…

These were (1) father, (2) brother, (3) friend, (4) husband & (5) lover…

These are in increasing levels of intimacy…

This is what I believe…

Following on from my post on divorce & re-marriage and speaking to those who find themselves in a position where they can’t re-marry but must remain single until their estranged spouse dies (to be freed from the law of the husband or visa versa the law of the wife – it’s the same thing) – I believe I have some wisdom from the Lord (through what He has taken me through – I’ve been interceding and learning through this – learning about life – I feel I have identified with this situation through my own life experience)…

Anyway for the one who has repented before the Lord or accepted this position – even if others do not understand – it’s like a “life sentence” – there’s no way out – you still have emotions and feelings and still long to be held and loved and esteemed and respected and valued and yet you are “locked up” – you can’t “get out” – you are “out of bounds” – like a “leper” in some ways because you are “damaged goods” and no one (who is following God’s word) can “touch you” – I know what you are going through – I feel your pain…

There is an answer…

To wait on God…

Start by being a father to whomever the Lord places across your path (or a mother if you are a female) – start with this…

Next ask the Lord to give you a brother relationship (or a sister relationship) where you can be a brother to a member of the opposite sex and learn what that means – there is no sexual interest in being a brother to a sister in the Lord…

None whatsoever – “in absolute purity” – Paul tells Timothy…

As you do both these things – the “roadblocks” or “stumbling blocks” will begin to manifest themselves in you – you’ll see that you want “more” than just being a father or being a brother and you will have an opportunity to offer up your “wanting more” to the Lord – I have been there – I know of what I speak…

Next ask the Lord to give you a friend who is a member of the opposite sex…

A friend is a deeper level of communication where you share what is important to you and yet there is no physical intimacy – there may be plutonic hugs – but there are no kisses… 🙂

See how you handle that – do you still want more?

If you do give this to the Lord – He is healing you through this process – keep giving it to the Lord until you know you are free to give to this friend without seeking anything in return – this is the process I’ve been walking through…

True friendship is closer than brotherhood – there’s a verse in Proverbs which says this…

True friendship is selfless and has no care for itself…

Once you “walk through” these levels, fatherhood, brotherhood, friendship if the Lord sees that your heart is pure then He is able to bring back your estranged spouse or remove them from this earth so that He can give you a husband and lover relationship if this is His will…

You may find at the end of the friendship process when you’ve learnt to be a true friend that He gives you the eunuch gifting – that He enables you – like the Apostle Paul – to be a eunuch for the sake of the Kingdom – where you don’t desire to progress into the husband and lover relationship areas – if He doesn’t – if after you’ve surrendered everything there is still a desire in you to know a husband and lover type relationship and you know you’ve surrendered it to the Lord and asked Him to remove it from you – then at this point you can be assured that the Lord will provide for you in some miraculous way…

Maybe He will bring back your estranged spouse – but as scripture says in 1 Corinthians 7 how do you know whether you will win your unbelieving spouse (or even your believing one – God is Sovereign in the lives of His own also)?

How do you know?  God is Sovereign – it’s up to Him at the end of the day…

If after all your intercession – laying your life down, etc, etc, and choosing them – even if they are not willing or are even living with another person – if after all this – you still feel nothing for them and have no assurance from God that they will be saved – then you can know that the Lord will not act to re-unify you with that estranged spouse…

And if He isn’t going to act then one of two things will happen…

Either He will take that one home (or remove them from this earth) if they are hindering the completion of His will in your life or He will enable you to live as a eunuch until they are taken home (or removed from this earth)…

Either of these outcomes will know His blessing and His provision – surrender ensures provision…

Surrender to His will ensures provision – as soon as we surrender we have the provision…

I have tasted what it means to be a husband and what it means to be a lover – I am very inexperienced but I have tasted this and the Lord has given me promises of this – I’ve seen the future so to speak (well I have) and I know that I will enjoy these relationships in the future…

The Lord is a Husband to us and the Lord is also our Lover…

The Song of Songs (Song of Solomon) is a beautiful book in scripture showing us the depths – the possible depths of our love with the Lord but also of our love with our beloved (our wife or our husband) on earth in the Lord – only in the Lord – only in submission to His will and with Him living through us – no other way – only in waiting and only in submission…

He will move heaven and earth to show Himself strong on behalf of those whose hearts are completely His – nothing will stand in their way – even if your situation appears hopeless – to achieve the deepest longings of our hearts – once those longings are surrendered to Him – if those longings survive the fire then they will be honoured by the Lord – no good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly…

So are we going to wait?

The surest way to see our heart is to give ourselves in father (mother), brother (sister) and friend relationships to members of the opposite sex (I am speaking from a place of heterosexuality here) and see what remains in us which needs to be purified…

The deepest pleasure is there for those who will submit and believe – no matter what their past is – that the Lord has the best and will work all things together for good to those who love Him (wherever you’ve been He will take you from there and give you the best from here on out) – the path of surrender is the path of the resurrection – impossible situations made possible – miracles happening – never forget the miracles – never stop believing – never stop trusting God for the resurrection and the miracles – they are just around the corner – after the waiting – the pain of the waiting – comes the joy of the sacrifice – the joy of the sacrifice is where you see the fulfilment of the longing, the vision, the hope – the deepest desires of your heart – being fulfilled – delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart…

If you read this and rejoice but despair and say, “how could I ever get there?” don’t despair cos I’ve thought that too and I’ve despaired and still do sometimes – but know that He is taking me there – don’t deal in absolutes with respect to your heart – go with your deepest heart’s desire – this is what you want isn’t it? – don’t listen to the nagging doubts or the “you can’t possibly do that” voices which hold you back – go with your faith – no matter how small it is and let God sort out your unbelief…

Love you,

Andrew