I’ve just had an interesting email conversation with the Lord…

I email my thoughts, etc, to the Lord and often – almost always – He talks back to me in these email exchanges which I send to myself…

I find it really liberating talking the Lord and knowing that those conversations are just between myself and Him – there’s a real security there for me…

Love You Lord…

Anyway, perfectionism – this is what He wanted to speak to me of…

What did I want – perfectionism or to know Him?

And I found it coming out of my heart that I wanted to know Him…

He told me that I would never be perfect in this life – and I was confused as I’d felt that previously He’d told me that I would be…

He told me that I was labouring under a delusion…

He told me that His Grace would cover me…

He told me that I would never be physically perfect in this life…

Perfection to Him was my submission to the process of His working in my life – the process of sin being exposed – hurting others – experiencing and giving forgiveness – and growing in Grace – His Grace was going to be enough…

As He spoke I felt this huge “relaxation” come over me like a weight lifting off me – He loved me and He wasn’t expecting me to be perfect – He knew how practically perfect He would make me and told me that I’d never be practically perfect on this earth – not until He transformed me when I met Him in the air – when I went through the final fire – I would grow in His Likeness – I would model this process to my wife – I see this as future – and she would grow in this process as she observed me walking through it…

I see this…

It is humbling and yet it is true…

My focus should be on knowing Him…

I have let go of a focus on being perfect, i.e. removing all sin from myself…

Everything must result from knowing Him – whatever comes out of knowing Him is “all good” – whatever that is…

Any other focus is bad – I’ve known this – but He reminded me of it this lunch hour and I feel to share it – be released – He loves you as you are – as a child of God – no matter how much or how little of sin which dwells in me is still in you (if that makes sense)…

So relax…

It’s humbling not to hide your sinfulness or not to strive to get rid of it (as we don’t want other people to see it in us) but this is what He’s calling us to do – we are perfect in this submission to this process – that’s what He told me…

I become a man after His own Heart in my submission to this process and in my focus on Him – if I’m focused on Him I’m not focused on my performance and thus don’t need to focus on what anyone else thinks about me – He has accepted me in this process – I am clean before Him in my new creation – He has accepted me – and I am covered by His Love – as long as I continue to view others in the same light and forgive them I am kept under this covering – and even my “flare ups” where I don’t forgive and get angry – He “moderates” and brings me back to forgiveness with no effort or stress or panic or striving from myself…

Love You Lord…

I choose You…

To know You…

Love You…

You are all my soul (my new soul 🙂 ) desires…

Andrew