Perfectionism…

I’ve just had an interesting email conversation with the Lord…

I email my thoughts, etc, to the Lord and often – almost always – He talks back to me in these email exchanges which I send to myself…

I find it really liberating talking the Lord and knowing that those conversations are just between myself and Him – there’s a real security there for me…

Love You Lord…

Anyway, perfectionism – this is what He wanted to speak to me of…

What did I want – perfectionism or to know Him?

And I found it coming out of my heart that I wanted to know Him…

He told me that I would never be perfect in this life – and I was confused as I’d felt that previously He’d told me that I would be…

He told me that I was labouring under a delusion…

He told me that His Grace would cover me…

He told me that I would never be physically perfect in this life…

Perfection to Him was my submission to the process of His working in my life – the process of sin being exposed – hurting others – experiencing and giving forgiveness – and growing in Grace – His Grace was going to be enough…

As He spoke I felt this huge “relaxation” come over me like a weight lifting off me – He loved me and He wasn’t expecting me to be perfect – He knew how practically perfect He would make me and told me that I’d never be practically perfect on this earth – not until He transformed me when I met Him in the air – when I went through the final fire – I would grow in His Likeness – I would model this process to my wife – I see this as future – and she would grow in this process as she observed me walking through it…

I see this…

It is humbling and yet it is true…

My focus should be on knowing Him…

I have let go of a focus on being perfect, i.e. removing all sin from myself…

Everything must result from knowing Him – whatever comes out of knowing Him is “all good” – whatever that is…

Any other focus is bad – I’ve known this – but He reminded me of it this lunch hour and I feel to share it – be released – He loves you as you are – as a child of God – no matter how much or how little of sin which dwells in me is still in you (if that makes sense)…

So relax…

It’s humbling not to hide your sinfulness or not to strive to get rid of it (as we don’t want other people to see it in us) but this is what He’s calling us to do – we are perfect in this submission to this process – that’s what He told me…

I become a man after His own Heart in my submission to this process and in my focus on Him – if I’m focused on Him I’m not focused on my performance and thus don’t need to focus on what anyone else thinks about me – He has accepted me in this process – I am clean before Him in my new creation – He has accepted me – and I am covered by His Love – as long as I continue to view others in the same light and forgive them I am kept under this covering – and even my “flare ups” where I don’t forgive and get angry – He “moderates” and brings me back to forgiveness with no effort or stress or panic or striving from myself…

Love You Lord…

I choose You…

To know You…

Love You…

You are all my soul (my new soul 🙂 ) desires…

Andrew

About andrew james horton

Hi, my name is Andrew James Horton... I am a Kiwi (New Zealander), born in Christchurch (05 September 1971), now in my mid-forties (I feel so old saying that)... I am blessed to be married with five children and six grandchildren... :-) I am at present a Principal Structural Engineer, Director working in Christchurch, New Zealand... I am passionate about prophetic intercession and about revival both in New Zealand and throughout the world... I am passionate to pray that the Church, the Body of Christ, the Bride of Christ, will be all that He - the Lord Jesus Christ - desires her to be in our generation... I felt that the Lord gave me the name of this blog site, "a house of prayer for the nations - prophetic intercession for worldwide revival" and wanted me to "put it out there" and start recording the prayers which are on my heart to pray in the hope that others would also be encouraged to share the prayers which are on their hearts to pray and that in the unity of the Spirit we could participate together in this activity in different locations around the world as He leads us... If the Lord leads you, let's join in prayer for the Lord's will to be done on earth as it is in heaven in our generation... Love in the Lord, Andrew
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2 Responses to Perfectionism…

  1. Ruth says:

    Wow brother Andrew.. I certainly resemble all of the above. It has been one of my besetting sins which caused me to be very self conscious. always walking around on egg shells so as not to make any mistakes, so I wont be abused.. Mine came from abuse.. just never quite made the grade.. what an awesome revelation from Yahweh. to some it may be simple, to me what you wrote was amazing.. I am living with a family member at the moment who is going through the trying to be everyones Holy spirit stage.. IT IS A RUDE WAKEUP OF WHAT I MYSELF DID AT ONE TIME.. HAHAHAHA. Makes me never want to go there again.. hahha. Thank you Andrew for being so transparent.. it sucks to have to live up to perfection.. OR THINK YOU DO… we can all relax in Yeshua toghether. one body with all our faults.. until Yeshua works and wills in us to do of His good pleasure… Oh HALLELUYAH TO THE LAMB OF YAH WHO TAKES AWAY THE SINS OF THE WORLD
    I had not been reading your posts because I somhow got taken off of the forward list.. Tonight as I was doing something I felt nudged to come look. AND I GOT BLESSED.. THANKS BROTHER ANDREW
    LOVE YA RUTHIE

  2. That’s awesome Ruth, Praise the Lord, I’ve been much more relaxed since the Lord showed me that – the Grace is pervasive… 🙂

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