Honest sharing…

From the place of waiting we experience deliverance… 🙂

Waiting leads to deliverance (He told me this yesterday afternoon / early evening)…

“I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me. (Galatians 2:20 NASB)

As we stop trying and watch as the Lord battles on our behalf – overcoming evil within us – He is free to do His work…

I have been so afraid…

I keep hearing what the Lord is going to do – He keeps telling me and I keep saying to Him, “I’m scared that I’m going to stuff this up”…

And twice now – on two different occasions – He’s “had me up on this” and said, “Why are you afraid Andrew?” or words to that affect…

He won’t “let it go” and “pushes” me (not in a bad way but in a persistent way – where He won’t let me let that comment “slide” or escape answering His question – I’ve tried to)…

“Why are you afraid Andrew?”…

“What does that mean?”…

“Does that mean you have more faith in the devil – to stuff you up – than Me to deliver or hold on to you?”…

“Or does it mean that you have more faith in sin within you to stuff you up than you do in Me to deliver you?”…

He really helped me – it was firm – as it had been the last time – but it was kind – it is kind of the Lord to discipline us – I felt like He was taking a “firm hand” to me but in a loving and good way…

To be afraid is to live in rebellion…

Fear is rebellion…

Trust is submission…

Trust is surrendering to the word of God…

This is what He showed me…

When He speaks to me and I submit I am trusting Him – “Yes Lord” – I am surrendering to His word – I am lining up as His servant…

I don’t have to do anything – all I have to do is believe His word (and speak it out – He is showing me) – and this I can’t do either – but He helps me – He gives me the ability to believe (and to speak it out – it comes out naturally – flowing and with authority – He’s just shown me now) – as I wait…

And in the place of waiting there is no fear – it is a constant state of peace because you are aware that you are not holding yourself up…

You are being held up and you are surrendered as to the timetable for your deliverance and progress – you know that as you wait He will act – you just know – and this knowledge – in the waiting – is your deliverance…

He showed me over the last couple of days that my waiting isn’t for no reason – I have been the problem – not Him – He is waiting for me to surrender to Him – whenever He comes close – as He did last night – and this has been happening more frequently – last time was in Fiji last year – where He is “calling it in” – and when He comes close I suddenly see that I’m not as holy as I thought I was – He is infinitely more holy than I am – and I look like nothing in comparison to Him…

Nothing…

And I see – in my waiting – that I have been hindering Him not the other way round – I’ve been feeling like He’s been “holding out” on me – “Why are you doing this to me God?” – but now I see that I’ve been holding out on Him – when He comes close I find myself retreating from Him – it is so scary – He is so holy and He is telling me – offering me – to take over – and I thought I’d really like that – but when I get “up close and personal” with it – when I see that He will literally live through me – and all that that could mean (will mean – I see now) – I see that instead of embracing it I am shying away from it…

And that is where He encouraged me last night again as He came close that He was kneeling with me and His Hand was on my head as I was overwhelmed – going through the rigor mortis of death – that He would hold me and ensure that I made it through – that I could wait – I could wait on Him – not strive – not get scared and give Him a “quick” answer (which won’t achieve anything and won’t “stick”) – that He would wait for the answer to be created in me by the Holy Spirit (an answer that would endure and “stick” – I’m seeing now)…

He was showing me that all trip – I’ve just been on a day and half business trip with work – that He was “all over it”…

It’s so much about us – we just don’t see it – until He comes close and in His Presence everything is revealed for what it is…

He showed me that there were just two choices ahead of me – (1) to wait and allow Him to deliver me – to complete the work He’d begun and let Him fill me and “take over” (and all that went with it – and the people who’d be affected by that decision) or (2) I could choose to strive or take over or do my own thing – whatever that was (turn away I guess) – and not wait – and if I choose that – He would take me home (He will make me know wisdom – as Psalm 51 says – that is His purpose for me – which ever way you “slice and dice” it – that is His purpose for me – but I would feel ashamed before Him if I chose that second path – I saw that very clearly – what John spoke of in that scripture as He explained it to me – I saw it)…

It’s like things have narrowed right down – this started in Fiji back in late October / early November last year – He is serious – and He is going to “get His man” – one way or another…

And I saw that it was in love but also that it was Sovereign – at the same time He was assuring me that He wouldn’t let me “stuff up” and that He would ensure I didn’t need to be removed (I wouldn’t shipwreck my faith – as He’d encouraged me through another brother previously by way of confirmation to something He’d told me) – but the realities were “put before me” – and yet there was no “gun at my head” – I felt complete peace and covering – and in that place of waiting – letting Him do all the work – I knew I had no excuse for not remaining and making it “all the way” cos He was going to do all these things in me – I’ve started to see that He is more serious about these things than I am – and His seriousness is sincere (at a deep level I am really beginning to see that He is serious and that He cares about me) – it is pure – whereas mine has been tainted by pride…

There is nothing left for you when Jesus takes over – nothing – that is what I have been seeing – nothing…

Literally nothing left for you…

You are a slave – but a protected slave and a slave who sees His Master…

A slave who sees His Master working through him – that is all you have left…

All…

He really is real and He really is all powerful and He really will do what He says – He will move heaven and earth to make you like Himself if this is what you really want…

But when you see what He is really like and it comes to the point of death – where it is very real to you – you (well I did) start (and have started) to see the resistance in you and start to see just how much sin within you has “held sway” at a deep level in your life…

He told me that He didn’t care about sin within me that it wasn’t me – He told me that He would remove it all and that I was what I was in Him – it was so reassuring to hear this from Him…

It can become quite ugly and “in our face” as it comes up to be removed – I have been walking through this – a last ditch “battle” before it is removed – it’s an ugly and messy business but it’s worth it – He is worth it – there’s nothing in the other way of life – the armour of light – as a sister reminded me recently through another blog – is transparency (the Lord showed me this a while back) – and true deliverance is true honesty – there is nothing for any of us to be proud about – the Lord has done all things well (not us)… 🙂

This is why He is patient – He knows that we are just dust – He will be as patient with us as we can be with Him in knowing that He will remain patient with us…

Sounds circular but that is what I’ve been experiencing…

Layer on layer…

Deeper and deeper…

He is so good…

He is so faithful – He brings us up to surrenders and then holds us through them because we’ve surrendered to them – or He has surrendered us to them – circular again – but there is no fear here – the Father chooses who He reveals Jesus to – He told me this – through that scripture – and it made sense – why I see certain things is because He’s chosen to reveal Jesus to me – He put this desire in me and we can know that any desire which He puts within us will come to pass – it will because He put it within us – that is our assurance – when things are black – and also the reality of sin within us shows us the greater reality of the power of God to overcome and break sin within us – remind the devil of that the next time He torments you with fear – also remember if you’re feeling afraid when the Lord talks to you because of yourself that He’s not interested in the you who died as your life is now hidden with Christ in God – He is speaking to the new you – not the old you – the old you hears it – but its dead – it no longer exists – so we need to start ignoring it – when it speaks it doesn’t have the right to dictate to us what we should be doing – it is a dead corpse speaking – Praise You Jesus…

I died and my life is now hidden with Christ in God…

The life I live in the body I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave Himself for me…

This is the truth – I don’t have to believe it to make it the truth (I don’t have to hype myself up to believe it either – or shout it out hoping that if I shout it out it might be true in reality) – it is just the truth – no matter how I feel or how I perform – this is the truth – the life I live in the body I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave Himself for me…

Everything He tells me I say, “Yes Lord” – I have an attitude of gratitude and thankfulness and surrender – this is what He’s told me – I’m not pretending to be practicing this perfectly by any stretch of the imagination – but this is what He’s shown me…

Love you all,

Andrew

(Ps. Waiting is the process of “Do not strive in My Presence” on the one hand and “Do not resist My Holy Spirit” on the other – He showed me that last night – that waiting was the process that brought those other two things, which He’d previously shown me, together)

About andrew james horton

Hi, my name is Andrew James Horton... I am a Kiwi (New Zealander), born in Christchurch (05 September 1971), now in my mid-forties (I feel so old saying that)... I am blessed to be married with five children and six grandchildren... :-) I am at present a Principal Structural Engineer, Director working in Christchurch, New Zealand... I am passionate about prophetic intercession and about revival both in New Zealand and throughout the world... I am passionate to pray that the Church, the Body of Christ, the Bride of Christ, will be all that He - the Lord Jesus Christ - desires her to be in our generation... I felt that the Lord gave me the name of this blog site, "a house of prayer for the nations - prophetic intercession for worldwide revival" and wanted me to "put it out there" and start recording the prayers which are on my heart to pray in the hope that others would also be encouraged to share the prayers which are on their hearts to pray and that in the unity of the Spirit we could participate together in this activity in different locations around the world as He leads us... If the Lord leads you, let's join in prayer for the Lord's will to be done on earth as it is in heaven in our generation... Love in the Lord, Andrew
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