Self pity…

Here’s the thing…

We all want to get our own way…

That was a result of the fall…

Here’s the thing…

Self pity hides in all of us…

All fallen human beings…

Not Jesus – but the rest of us – yes…

So here’s the thing…

For God to be Lord of our hearts and to cause His Kingdom to come and His will to be done in our hearts – guess what? – He needs to remove self pity…

Self pity?

Is this really such a big deal?

Yes it is…

It is a deal breaker – a game breaker…

God can tell us all sorts of amazing things which He’s going to do through us but if we have self pity ruling in our hearts – this is the cause of the blockage between us being able to believe the word of the Lord and not…

Why?

Because self pity tells us that we never get what we deserve…

Don’t trust God, He’ll let you down…

Better just to remain with me – in self pity…

It will hurt less in the long run – don’t get your hopes up – it would crush you if it didn’t happen…

Self pity speaks to us in our hearts thus…

How do I know?

It has spoken to me…

Deep unbelief – deep reticence to believe the word of God through unbelief – but behind unbelief is self pity…

This has been the hidden one – the one which I haven’t seen – but when the Lord has tested me severely – then I’ve seen it – I’ve seen it’s ugly face so to speak…

Full of victim mentality…

I’ve seen it in others also – two in particular – three in fact – who I am thinking about at present…

Oh, woe is me – things are so hard for me – I couldn’t dare to believe that things will improve – I’d be crushed if they didn’t…

I’m going to sound quite harsh in this post tonight but it is only because I am going to unmask this spirit so we don’t feel sorry for it anymore but instead see that it is robbing us of our joy in the Lord – we can’t be nice to it – or feel sorry for it – we must confront it – and with vigour – or it will sap all our spiritual energy – in a never ending chase of human compassion – which gets no where…

Self pity…

We all have things which we want…

These things are things which our flesh wants – we believe though that we are justified to expect these things from God – even if these are things God has promised us – the problem is here that our flesh wants them – sometimes our flesh can want the things God tells our new self which He is going to give us – but the flesh wants these things from a very different aspect or reason than our new self…

This is the problem…

It doesn’t please God…

Because those in the flesh cannot please God – only faith pleases God…

Sometimes we need to take a firm hand to ourselves and others whom the Lord has placed under our care – if led by the Lord – and address these issues…

We can’t beat about the bush…

This can be scary – upsetting this apple cart can be scary – very scary – I am feeling it as I type – it’s so easy to believe woe is me and expunge ourselves of responsibility and protect ourselves in a blanket of self pity…

But the Lord doesn’t allow us to do that…

He comes along and rips the blanket off us…

Really?

Yes really…

He doesn’t want us wearing that covering – that blanket – as it only leads to sickness and death – the flesh profits nothing and the wages of sin is death – everything which is not done in faith is sin…

Self pity will not believe the promises of God because it lies and believes that God will let us down – He won’t keep His promises – and we’ll be so devastated when He does (break His promises) that we’re better off not believing them in the first place…

Even though there is a place in our heart which knows they – His promises which we’ve heard Him utter to us – are true…

We know this but the self pity is powerful because we have given it – the demon of self pity – power in our lives…

We need deliverance…

We need to repent from self pity…

Lord I’m sorry that I don’t trust You…

I’m sorry that I’m scared of You…

I’m sorry that I don’t want to surrender to You…

I’m sorry that I can’t let this go because of what You might do with it, i.e. take it away from me…

I’m sorry…

The flesh can never believe – it will make excuses that it can’t believe – but in reality that is true – but it is a façade – a ruse – an excuse to hide the blame – the reality is that it’s not poor flesh but that it’s rebellious flesh…

The new self on the other hand is free…

It is full of faith…

The Holy Spirit inhabits it…

The repentance is from our desire to be in control of our own lives and use the Lord to get what we – our flesh – wants…

This doesn’t work…

We end up getting very angry with the Lord…

Because we can’t get what we want – and we swear and curse at Him – in our flesh – and then He brings us to that ah ha moment…

That ah ha moment  where we see this whole thing has been about us and not Him…

Even things which He has told us – which aren’t actually wrong and we have actually believed in our new selves – the flesh will get in and have a pity party about why it hasn’t been released to us yet and how much that is hurting us and the pain which that is causing us – it will – I’ve seen it – and I’ve been released – just recently to understand it…

It is all a ruse to get it’s own way…

We’re not even aware that this is going on…

It’s going on underneath the radar – this spirit is so hidden you just don’t see it immediately – although on reflection you see it…

You see it clearly and it becomes more and more and more clear…

We’re all guilty here – except Jesus – only He is not…

I’m owning it…

I’m taking responsibility for it…

I’m owning self pity…

I’ve been full of this Lord – it has been the cause of all my pain – misunderstandings about Your will because of the remains of my flesh…

Pain in not getting what You have promised – mistrust of You due to these broken promises – these assumed broken promises – always being let down – no one being trustworthy – always being betrayed – never being understood – I have lived this and I have kept myself from getting close to people because of this fear – the fear fed by my self pity…

God says to trust others…

If we are hurt He tells us to forgive…

Who does this?

He does…

He forgives…

Through us…

Self pity can’t forgive – so it has to isolate itself from conflict and from potential pain…

Only the rebellious live in a parched desert…

This is the way I’ve been in my heart…

Living in a parched desert – because of my self pity…

Building my walls – protecting myself…

Not willing to step out and trust – to be real – too scared of the response – the response of others…

Better to share and be misunderstood than not to share at all – I have been willing to share but I have still been afraid – afraid of the response – self pity has been binding me…

There should be nothing in us to stop the flow of His Spirit through us – nothing…

Against myself I speak – against my closest friends I speak – it shouldn’t matter who I speak to I should be willing to speak His word and never be ashamed of Him or what He makes me look like – even when I’m walking through my flesh, i.e. walking it out, i.e. letting it be exposed and removed from me, I shouldn’t be afraid – I shouldn’t think, what does such and such think of me…

Every longing must be surrendered…

Over and over and over I have found…

Even the ones He tells you are from Him – even these need to be surrendered over and over and over…

Nothing can remain un-surrendered…

Even things which seem small and unimportant which you’ve always longed would happen – even these need to be surrendered…

Nothing is left out – cos even the good stuff – the God stuff – the flesh latches on from it’s own perspective and fools us into thinking it’s being hard done by when it doesn’t get what it wants – it twists God’s word and then makes Him out to be a liar and untrustworthy…

It does…

I’ve seen it – and I know it…

Expose me Lord…

Expose all self pity in me…

All of it…

And let Your Fire burn it all away – and in everyone who is close to me – everyone…

Let us all reflect you – with no distractions from our flesh – remove self pity from us all Lord so that it can’t hurt us – any of us who know You – any more…

Set us free to love You and to see Your Love extended to us…

Love You Lord,

Andrew

About andrew james horton

Hi, my name is Andrew James Horton... I am a Kiwi (New Zealander), born in Christchurch (05 September 1971), now in my mid-forties (I feel so old saying that)... I am blessed to be married with five children and six grandchildren... :-) I am at present a Principal Structural Engineer, Director working in Christchurch, New Zealand... I am passionate about prophetic intercession and about revival both in New Zealand and throughout the world... I am passionate to pray that the Church, the Body of Christ, the Bride of Christ, will be all that He - the Lord Jesus Christ - desires her to be in our generation... I felt that the Lord gave me the name of this blog site, "a house of prayer for the nations - prophetic intercession for worldwide revival" and wanted me to "put it out there" and start recording the prayers which are on my heart to pray in the hope that others would also be encouraged to share the prayers which are on their hearts to pray and that in the unity of the Spirit we could participate together in this activity in different locations around the world as He leads us... If the Lord leads you, let's join in prayer for the Lord's will to be done on earth as it is in heaven in our generation... Love in the Lord, Andrew
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