“You shall remember all the way which the LORD your God has led you in the wilderness these forty years, that He might humble you, testing you, to know what was in your heart, whether you would keep His commandments or not. (Deuteronomy 8:2 NASB)

I have often asked myself, why have I gone through all the things which I’ve gone through in my life – my life doesn’t appear anything like a straight line in my own understanding… 🙂

I really feel that the Lord has reminded me – and He’s reminded me of this scripture before – that all the pain and the trauma – the emotional trauma – the sheer lack of understanding – the bafflement and the confusion – or the attempts for confusion to overwhelm me – which I’ve been through have all been necessary…

None of it is superfluous to what I have needed to have established in me…

And there will be more – I know this as I type…

Death is all about surrendering to the unknown – surrendering to the un-knowable…

Jesus said to His disciples,

“It is not for you to know times or epochs which the Father has fixed by His own authority; (Acts 1:7 NASB)

Moses said,

“The secret things belong to the LORD our God, but the things revealed belong to us and to our sons forever, that we may observe all the words of this law. (Deuteronomy 29:29 NASB)

There are certain things which God withholds from us for our own good to teach us what is in our hearts…

If He didn’t do that we would never see the control and the rebellion which lurk deep in our hearts – as we’d always be getting “our own way” with God…

Imagine if every time we wanted to know something the Lord would “jump” and tell us…

We’d feel like we “owned” God and have an expectation on God to always “perform” when we “demand” information from Him…

But God isn’t like that…

Truly, You are a God who hides Himself, O God of Israel, Savior! (Isaiah 45:15 NASB)

It is God’s prerogative when He tells us what He wants to tell us…

Why?

Because He loves us and wants us to see what is still remaining of “sin within me” in our hearts – in my heart…

I feel so good this morning – as I’ve just been through one of these “death” times with the Lord…

And I’ve come out the other end to a settled place of peace where He has given me instruction – in His time – and it is settled instruction and will “hold” me during this next season of my life…

I know this…

It’s so beautiful when He brings us through…

It’s like our heart is like a weaned child within us – no longer demanding – no longer desperate – but filled – and content…

It’s so good that God doesn’t answer or “leap” or “jump” to our every demand – it’s tempting to do that as parents – I know I’ve been tempted to do that with my children – I’m especially thinking of my oldest son – but I’ve been blessed to say, “No” to my oldest son’s demands when I haven’t had a peace and I’m starting to see that this will build character in him as it has in me…

Praise You Jesus…

At the right time You speak to us…

Not too soon, not too late…

Control is the insidious thing which hides – it only comes out in seasons of great inner turmoil or distress – I know what I am speaking of here…

God speaks words to our hearts to test our hearts – and then He changes His Mind once we have come through to a complete surrender to the words which He spoke and then He reveals more “ugliness” within us as we go, “What? You told me that and now You’re changing Your Mind? What is this?” and then He shows us that the place of trust is to believe every word He speaks – like Abraham did – without flinching and without “going there” in our minds and asking all those questions – because by practice, i.e. we’ve been there before and “had it out” with God before, we know that He is using this to “purge” us and “expose” us (to ourselves) and help us see what remains (and we don’t protect ourselves from God – we believe Him – we take Him at His word in simple childlike faith and belief) so we can offer it all up to Him for Him to purge it from us, remove it from us – it just goes when we see this – so beautiful…

Not many people understand this…

Not many people understand that the first fruits belong to the Lord…

Not many people understand that the Lord hides Himself…

He does this to draw our new heart to Him…

As our new heart – like Jesus when He went to the cross – always believes that God is Good and is worth being close to – and so the new heart “comes after God” pursuing Him even as He “withdraws”/”hides Himself” even as He seems to get further and further away and even as circumstances appear to be impossible and moving us further and further away from what He has promised us – we draw near in full assurance of faith having our hearts sprinkled with a pure conscience and we – our new hearts – draw near by the Blood of Jesus and we come boldly before the Throne of Grace and we wrestle with God – as our father Jacob (Israel) did before us and we inherit the Promises – the Promises which God has made to us – as Jacob did of old – he found favour with God as he wrestled with Him (Jesus) and so will we as we wrestle with Him (Jesus) and the Father and the Holy Spirit to know His will for us as He hides Himself from us…

I am not saying this is a permanent place – but I am saying that it is a seasonal place – where God takes us to purify us more and more to dwell in His Presence and reveal His Presence to the world – deeper and deeper cleansing – deeper and deeper purity – things don’t make sense but we learn through practice, through walking through it (and venting 🙂 ) to trust Him practically in all aspects of our lives…

I know there is pain ahead for me – He has told me – I will suffer loss – I know this – He has told me – I must walk that loss as a failure – as Jesus walked the loss of the cross as a failure – He hung His Head – He did not shout His innocence from the cross at His tormentors – I must walk the same way – I know this – this is the loss of self righteousness which the Lord is calling me to…

I know this…

Death gives way to victory when you submit to it…

As believers we have nothing to fear in death – either physical death or the death of our reputations, or being “overlooked” or “unnoticed” or “misunderstood” or “brushed aside” or “overlooked” (I said that twice 🙂 ) – it doesn’t matter – Jesus was not perturbed when He went to the cross – no one else saw it – no one else saw what He was going through but His Father saw it – but even His Father couldn’t intervene and give comfort to His Son – the Son who He loved – that is death – to walk through something which no one else understands completely alone – that is death – the physical suffering added to it added to the pain but Jesus was “up to the task” and He overcame and thus we can – and will overcome… 🙂

I am an overcomer… 🙂

And so are you if you have been born of God… 🙂

For whatever is born of God overcomes the world; and this is the victory that has overcome the world– our faith. (1 John 5:4 NASB)

We have God’s DNA – no matter how we are “sliced and diced” we will always have – as one speaker I heard earlier in the year shared (in so many words) – “My Dad’s DNA”… 🙂

Praise You Jesus…

Nothing can separate us from the Love of God which is in Christ Jesus… 🙂

Hallelujah!!!