In my early Christian life I went through a lot of pain endeavouring to confess each and every wrong thought, action, motive, etc, that I thought I had in an effort not to lose fellowship with the Lord…

Unfortunately I had believed that I needed to do this to keep fellowship with the Lord…

Coming to the end of myself in a depression experience really sorted that out for me…

I saw that I was taking over the role of the Holy Spirit and basically introspecting myself to death…

Coming out of that experience I realized that God accepted me as I was – in whatever state of “imperfection” which I found myself…

God accepted me – I saw later – because of what He had defined me as…

We are not to focus on sin…

We are to give ourselves unreservedly to the Lord – as a spiritual act of worship – offering ourselves on His Altar and leaving ourselves there…

After this occurs we just respond to the work of His Holy Spirit in us…

He convicts us of sin…

He enables us to repent…

He enables us to confess…

He enables us to say sorry…

I do not say sorry for my sin because my conscience convicts me…

No, I wait until the Holy Spirit convicts me because with His conviction comes the desire to repent and change…

Comes the heart breaking genuine Godly sorrow…

Nothing happens when we “keep score” on our own lives and mechanically go through the motions of confessing our sin…

This more than anything else freed me from introspection…

I am not examining myself…

Like Paul says, “the One who examines me is the Lord”…

The Lord really does examine me…

He is always bringing things to my attention…

But this is “painless” to me cos I’m not trying to make it happen…

Even if something is “killing me” in terms of really being on my conscience I do not “lift a finger” until the Lord shows me that it is something which is on His Heart…

Because our consciences can condemn us – but God is greater than our consciences (or our hearts) and He knows our hearts…

What I’m trying to say in the couple of sentences immediately above is that our consciences can be under the control of our flesh (our old selves) – they can also be under the control of the enemy – in certain areas because of control he has held in the past…

God is greater than our consciences…

We can offer up our consciences to be placed in the Fire with everything else…

I honestly believe that as we offer ourselves on God’s Altar as living sacrifices we become like coals of fire in His Altar…

The burning may be slow or quick in different areas but we will remain there for all time – until we reach heaven and go through the final fire where anything which is left of our flesh is burnt away before we enter heaven – I am speaking of those of us who know the Lord…

So I don’t see confession as an onerous thing – it is created within us by the Holy Spirit…

The Lord said to me when I was in Manila, “Do not strive in My Presence” and in the same prayer time He said, “Do not resist My Holy Spirit”…

Here is the balance…

We walk in this surrendered place…

“Do not strive in My Presence” – i.e. don’t try to “help God”, i.e. don’t strive in the flesh to try and perfect yourself…

“Do not resist My Holy Spirit”, – i.e. when I show you something and bring conviction and bring motivation to change do not resist Me, go with Me on this and do what I empower and motivate you to do…

This is my pattern of life…

There is some sin in my life which I do nothing about at all…

It is there and I know that it is there…

I am being honest…

But I am not condemned…

The Holy Spirit has not “put His Finger on it” as yet and I know He will…

I am already surrendered to be destroyed in those areas…

I am not striving to destroy myself – I am waiting for Him to destroy me…

I’ve tried hard enough in the past and I know where it leads – it leads to despair…

It is a one way track to condemnation and placing me in a powerless position in the hand of the enemy…

The amazing thing about the Lord is that we are protected by His own “operating schedule” for our lives…

He has forgiven us for all our sins…

He brings conviction and Godly sorrow and the ability to repent for specific sins which means that that sin “falls off” in our lives, i.e. we don’t do it anymore…

Only He can do this…

Confession isn’t meant to be an “over and over and over” thing…

It is meant to be a “once off” thing for each layer of that particular sin in our lives…

When God does it it is a “once off” “finishing off” of that particular layer of that particular sin in our lives…

I have experienced this myself…

Thus we are not going “round and round the mulberry bush” with the Lord and with our consciences…

We have had our “hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water” as the scripture says…

Our consciences are not our condemner – our consciences are not our indicator of whether we’ve sinned…

Yes, for an unbeliever they are…

But not for us – the Holy Spirit is…

If He is not convicting us – we shouldn’t try and step in and tell Him He isn’t doing a good enough job…

He isn’t convicting us cos it’s not His time to convict us about that particular sin…

When we’ve entered into His Rest we trust Him to complete this transformation in us without our “intervention” or “taking over” or wanting to “be in control”…

This is our rest…

This is entering into His Rest…

Love in the Lord,

Andrew