But Peter and the apostles answered, “We must obey God rather than men. “The God of our fathers raised up Jesus, whom you had put to death by hanging Him on a cross. He is the one whom God exalted to His right hand as a Prince and a Savior, to grant repentance to Israel, and forgiveness of sins. And we are witnesses of these things; and so is the Holy Spirit, whom God has given to those who obey Him.” (Acts 5:29-32 NASB)
The Lord’s bond-servant must not be quarrelsome, but be kind to all, able to teach, patient when wronged, with gentleness correcting those who are in opposition, if perhaps God may grant them repentance leading to the knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, having been held captive by him to do his will. (2 Timothy 2:24-26 NASB)
I’ve been thinking about repentance for quite some time and realising that I didn’t have it completely in any particular area…
The Lord leads us to surrender but what I’m seeing is that every surrender He leads us to only exposes to us a deeper surrender again which He needs to lead us to…
The “peeling the onion” “metaphor” or “layers of the onion” metaphor/expression is becoming more and more real to me…
I saw the other day for the first time as I was riding in to work that the Lord brought to me what it meant that everything truly is “all my fault”…
The mess that this world is in truly is “all my fault”…
I am – and stand alone – before the Lord as the one to blame for all the problems and troubles in the world today…
I am “the man”…
Nathan then said to David, “You are the man! (2 Samuel 12:7a NASB)
I see it very clearly…
I had nowhere else to “run”, no one else to blame…
I am oppressed by demonic spirits because I chose to rebel against God in the Garden of Eden…
In the Eyes of God I am Adam…
That is how He sees me in being responsible for the sins of the whole world…
I am the chief of sinners…
This is a faithful saying, and worthy of all acceptation, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners; of whom I am chief. (1 Timothy 1:15 KJV)
That is how He sees me…
I have no excuse before Him, I still have no excuse even though I know that I was born “dead” in sin, I have no excuse – I stood before Him once (in Adam) free and able to choose and I chose to reject Him without a cause and to hate Him without a cause…
But they have done this to fulfill the word that is written in their Law, ‘THEY HATED ME WITHOUT A CAUSE.’ (John 15:25 NASB)
I am guilty and I deserve every bit of Divine Retributive Justice which God chooses to “dish out” to me…
I say all this to show us – even those of us who have been cleansed by the Blood of the Lamb – that we have a place, we have a responsibility and when the Lord says, “If My People”, He really does mean us – He really does mean that we are responsible and that even though we are forgiven in that He gave us that “one off” gift of repentance so that we could repent and receive Eternal Life – there is more repentance which He needs to give us day after day after day, year after year after year to take us deeper and deeper and deeper towards the root of the problem that we have been delivered from until we can repent for the sin of the world as our own – because it is…
It is our own…
Each one of us stand as either Adam or Eve before God – not a single one of us is not culpable before God…
Even after we are released from our sins by His Blood we are still responsible to “press on” to come to that repentance which He needs to “silence” His wrath against the world…
He is looking for Intercessors…
He is looking for those who will go deeper and deeper and deeper into repentance until there is nothing that they have not repented from…
As they repent they gain “ground” or a place – as Rees Howells calls it – of intercession from which they can pray as led by the Lord to release others…
This is our place as priests of God…
We are priests of God…
We petition the Lord on behalf of our fellow men that they would be made acceptable to the Lord…
This is the activity of the Saints in heaven – not the only activity but one of the activities…
The Lord showed me that this week – or last week – that when I die and go to heaven I will continue to pray…
Why?
Because Jesus always lives to make intercession for them…
It will be different in heaven as I don’t have any sin left once I get to heaven but I will still be interceding for those left on earth who know the Lord and for those left on earth who will come to know the Lord…
Jesus does and whatever Jesus does I will do…
Just as Jesus only did the things that He saw His Father doing so I – in heaven will only do the things which I see Jesus doing and also which He puts on my heart to do – like worship Him…
Praise You Jesus…
We are to pray without ceasing…
Jesus prays without ceasing in heaven…
Imitate me as I imitate Christ…
When the Lord gives us the gift of repentance regarding any specific situation it really is the real thing, the “real deal”…
We feel it and we genuinely, un-forced-ly repent from our heart, we are so sad and so sorry at the same time and we wish that everyone else could be given what we have been given…
The more we are forgiven the more we wish everyone could be forgiven more and more and more…
It makes us so slow to wish for God’s Judgement on anyone although we know that He will Judge and we know that those who endure His Judgement deserve it and that His Judgement is Righteous…
It makes us so slow to wish for Judgement and causes us to plead with the Lord to have mercy on all that He has made – we have experienced this and we wish that everyone alive – even our enemies – could experience this too…
We know that not everyone will experience the Lord’s Mercy but we know that our hearts are being transformed so that we wish more and more and more that that could be the case…
O God grant us the gift of repentance more and more and more until all sin in our hearts has been dealt with – I do not believe that we will ever “walk” into a place of sinless perfection but O Lord please draw us closer and closer and closer to You so we can walk in Holiness before You and as we do we will become the most compassionate people on the planet and all Judgement from our lips – unrighteous and unloving Judgement – will cease and we will plead for Mercy from the God of all Mercy and He will hear us and according to His Sovereign will He will answer us…
According to His Sovereign Will…
In the days of His flesh, He offered up both prayers and supplications with loud crying and tears to the One able to save Him from death, and He was heard because of His piety. (Hebrews 5:7 NASB)
He was heard because of His Piety – so will we be – the Lord may not grant us what we desire in terms of the salvation of every single person ever to live from here until the end of time or until the end of our generation or until the end of our lives or whatever it is that He puts on our hearts to pray – but we will be heard because of our piety when He gives us the gift of repentance (more and more and more) and according to His Sovereign Will He will answer us for His Glory Alone…
O God grant Your Church on this earth the gift of repentance every day, every hour, every second, every instant of every day until the end of this age when You come again to Reign…
Let the repentance be felt, let it be recognised, let it be heartfelt and powerful towards pulling down strongholds, release Your Gift of Repentance over Your Body in the Mighty Name of Jesus…
“In that day a fountain will be opened for the house of David and for the inhabitants of Jerusalem, for sin and for impurity. (Zechariah 13:1 NASB)
O God as in that day to come, so now open a fountain for the Church of the Living God alive right now on planet earth…
Open a fountain and remove the foul spirits of unbelief and unrepentance and pride and extravagance or false comfort and false security or temporal pleasures and temporal happenings and temporal happiness far from us…
Give us the Heart of God…
Flood us with the Spirit of Repentance…
Flood us with the Spirit of Intercession…
Flood us with the Spirit of the Knowledge of the Fear of the Lord…
“I will pour out on the house of David and on the inhabitants of Jerusalem, the Spirit of grace and of supplication, so that they will look on Me whom they have pierced; and they will mourn for Him, as one mourns for an only son, and they will weep bitterly over Him like the bitter weeping over a firstborn. (Zechariah 12:10 NASB)
As on that day O Lord so may it be today, fill us, flood us with the Spirit of Grace and of Supplication and let us look upon You Father, You Lord Jesus, You Holy Spirit – You Lord Jesus Christ as the One whom we have pierced and let us mourn for You as we might mourn for an only son and let us weep bitterly over You like we might weep for a firstborn…
O God let us weep…
Let us weep…
Let us grieve before You….
Let us grieve before You…
We are so sorry Lord…
We are sorry Lord…
So sorry…
Have mercy on us Lord…
Have mercy upon us Lord…
You are worthy Lord Jesus…
You are worthy …
You are worthy Lord Jesus…
Open up the Fountain of Heaven and Pour out such a blessing of repentance and tears, tears of repentance before Your Throne…
Heaven is Your throne the earth is the footstool for Your Feet…
You are High and Lifted Up…
You are High and Lifted Up…
You are High and Lifted Up…
You are High and Lifted Up…
You are High and Lifted up…
You are High and Lifted Up….
You are High and Lifted Up….
Your Train fills the Temple…
Your Train fills the Temple…
Your Train fills the Temple…
Let the Glory of God Fall and be felt on earth in the hearts and lives of all who Know You…
Thank You Jesus, Thank You Father, Thank You Lord Holy Spirit, in the Name of Jesus, Amen & Amen…
So let it be…
a house of prayer for the nations 
O Father, I am overwhelmed at present…
I am overwhelmed living in the constant expectation and reminder that Your Wrath hangs over this country and over this world…
I feel it…
I feel Your Wrath, I feel the uncertain feeling of imminent disaster…
I am weary Lord, I am very weary…
I am dragging myself along like the caterpillar…
That’s the way I feel…
Where is my breakthrough Lord?
Where is my breakthrough?
Where are You as I go through this pain and suffering and hardship?
I just feel the impending doom, I feel the impending doom and I don’t know what to do…
I am overwhelmed…
I am grieving already…
Why Lord do You do this to me?
O yes, that’s why, cos I asked You to…
I remember, I prayed that You would do to me what You were going to do to this nation and to this city…
This morning on my way in to work on my bike it was as if I was getting “flash backs” of the earthquake which hasn’t even happened yet…
Flashbacks as if it had already happened…
At the same time I got such a strong cramp in my left quad that the pain was excruciating and I couldn’t keep biking, I had to walk most of the rest of the way in to work…
What are You doing to me Lord?
I don’t understand it…
Yes, I asked for it…
I feel like I am going crazy…
I know I’m not…
Have Mercy on me Lord and carry me all the way to the fulfilment of Your word for me and for this country for this city and for this nation…
You have spoken to me and promised me that I will Know You…
This I can cling to…
This I do cling to…
As You Shake me and Shake me You are, I know that I will know You…
You will be faithful to me…
You will be faithful to me cos I have set my heart to seek You with my whole heart…
I yearn for You Lord…
I yearn for Your Word…
I yearn for You, for Your Instruction in my life…
Give me what I yearn for…
Give me Yourself…
Give me Your Understanding…
Give me Your Word…
I want to Know You, I want to Understand You, I want to know what You are up to…
I want to know…
I want to be “in the know”…
Father, include me in the conference of heaven…
I want to know what You’re doing (like a son wants to know what his father is doing), I want to know what You are doing…
Show me what You are doing Lord, what You are preparing for…
Please Father, You are the One I want, show me what You are preparing for this earth, for Your Elect on this earth and for those who will come to know You on this earth…
Open my eyes Lord, I want to see…
I want to see You and I want to see what it is that You will do in these days…
I mean right now, the thing that You are preparing to do in this earth…
I might be shocked, I might be amazed, I might be overwhelmed but I just want to know, I want to understand why, I want to understand what You are doing and why You are doing it…
I want to understand You and Your Plans, Your Actions define You, Give me understanding that I may live…
I need to Know, I need to Know You and I need to Understand You, You are my only compass in this life…
I need to hear and know and know that You are Speaking to me, I need to hear Your Voice…
Speak to me Father, I yearn for You…
I yearn for Your Closeness to me…
I need to hear You Speaking to me…
As I would to my son, as I would to my daughter as they are open before me to hear what it is that I have to say…
Speak to me Lord…
I need to hear from You…
Love You Lord…
Andrew
I don’t want to be perfect Lord I just want to share my heart with You, I might be misunderstood for doing that Lord but I don’t care (yes, it hurts but I don’t care – ultimately I’d rather talk “heart to heart” with You than not because of what others might think) and I am in pain but I know that this pain is necessary and I am not asking for You to remove it rather I am asking for You to carry me through it, Carry me through it Lord, I can’t carry myself…
I am alone in my own mind, I know that You have given this burden to others but they cannot carry what You have given me to carry, as I cannot carry what You have given them to carry…
Come Lord Jesus and reveal Your Presence to us all…
Appear to us all Lord, to those of us who are waiting for You, waiting for You in this season of prayer and open our eyes to see what You are saying and to be ready to hear and to respond to Your word for us at this time…
Thank You Lord Holy Spirit, You are moving…
You are moving…
Revival is going down…
Going right down into the ground and becoming nothing so that You can fill us “all in all”…
Help us to go lower…
And lower and lower and take the lowest place before You…
You are the Great I AM, we are Your servants…
You are our Great High Priest, we are your subjects…
Take control of us Lord and use us for Your Glory…
Glorify Your Name in all the earth…
I can’t handle the uncertainty Lord, it is driving me crazy – please cover me with Your Peace and cover all who know things from You with Your Peace as we wait for the unfolding of Your will in this nation and in this city which is Called by Your Name…
Love You Lord, Thank You that You are with me, You are all that I need, Thank You for Your Peace, Thank You that I can pour out my heart to You, I feel alot better, Love to You Lord, Thank You,
Cover this prayer with Your Blood, Thank You Lord, Love You,
Andrew
Thank You Lord that as I look back over that prayer which I prayed to You in desparation that You have answered me with Your Peace…
I look back at the prayers which I have prayed and I am so blessed after going through a time of uncertainty which usually follows the prayers which I pray – to see clearly again that You were with me as I poured out my heart to You and that You are still with me even to this day – even with all that I have been going through…
Again Lord – I do not ask that You remove me from the pain but that You uphold me in it…
The uncertainty is not so sharp now Lord – I feel more settled and I am grateful for this – I feel ready – ready for whatever is to unfold…
You have shown me that Your Heart is for Mercy and that as my heart rises up in Mercy that I am to cry out for Mercy for all of Your Creation – all of Your Creation which You place on my heart…
I cannot ensure the salvation of anyone – even myself – all I can do is cry out for Mercy as You place this on my heart and speak the proclamations which You put on my heart – that is all that I can do – I can save no one – even those nearest and dearest to me – I cannot save them – I cannot change Your Purpose for their lives – they are in Your Hands…
No one can touch them – only You…
No one can change Your will – Your Purpose – for their lives – only You can fulfil it and You will because You Love them and made them in Your Image – all of those who Know You will have Your Purpose fulfilled in their lives – they will all know You from the least to the greatest – they will not be able to stop themselves from knowing You – Thank You Lord…
Those who do not Know You and will not – are not willing to come to – know You will experience Your sadness in Your Wrath as You bring down upon their heads the thing which You do not want to have to bring down but must in Your Justice – Your Righteous Indignation and Your Wrath – all who are not covered with the Blood of Jesus will perish in their sin…
There is nothing which can stop this – no amount of prayer or intercession – Moses pled with You in the wilderness and You stayed Your Hand but they – those who did not believe – still all feel in the desert – I am crying on the inside as I speak – You have a positive purpose for those who believe and a permissive purpose – one which You don’t really want to happen for those who will not – You harden them but still reach out in Mercy – there is a time where this Mercy “runs out” and “so help me God” I suppose that’s where it is – You swear in Your Wrath that they will not enter into Your rest – those who don’t know You and don’t want to know You after You’ve reached out and reached out and reached out to them…
O help me God…
Please give me Your Heart of compassion to all these ones…
Give me Your Heart to keep reaching out to them – as David kept humbling himself before the Lord on behalf of his child which the Lord told him He would not permit to live – let me keep pleading and begging on behalf of those who are under Your Wrath – that they would repent and live – all who know You are “safe” – they will spend eternity with You – but those who don’t know You are not safe in any sense of the word safe…
Have mercy Lord – let our hearts be malleable before You – come Lord Jesus and take Your Place – as David got up off the ground and took food and went and had a bath and put on new clothes after You took his son Lord – let us be when You take those from us whom You have chosen to take – we cannot stop this Lord once You take them but until You do we cry out – let us cry out – perhaps the Lord will be gracious – as David said, “perhaps the Lord will be gracious”…
O God – give me this heart – the heart of David – who interceded for his child – even though the Lord had told him that the child would die – give me this heart – the heart of David to intercede for all who You place on my heart – whether You’ve said they’re going to die or whether You’ve said they’re under Your Wrath or whether You’ve said You’re going to destroy them or whatever You’ve said (or I think You’ve said – even if I’ve got it wrong – which is a strong possibility) – give me the heart of David to intercede – perhaps the Lord will be gracious and spare them – we do not know Your Heart – we do not know Your will, let us “take hold” of You and intercede as it rises up in our hearts to do so – and so we come to know You – and so we come into Your Presence – a confusing place to be – a strange and unknown – misunderstood – place to be – but so we come to know You – going through many different emotions in many different seconds and being confused many times – seeing many different things – but honing in on You and on Your Heart – we do not understand You – we do not understand Your Heart – but we hone in on You and You – Your Heart – is found by us in our despair and in our confusion – I love You Lord I do not ask for life to be any other way – I embrace the confusion – the uncertainty – the sheer enormity of it all – as in it I come closer to You – I find You in the howling storm – I am closer to You in the uncertainty than in the times of “happiness” or “peace” which I have been so coveteous of…
Thank You Jesus, let me be real Lord – more and more and more real – Thank You Jesus, Thank You Father, Thank You Holy Spirit – speak through me and bless anyone who has ears to hear what You are speaking through me – even if it is just one person Lord – bless them and let them know that You are with them in their uncertainty – and even in their darkness Lord – You are with them…
Who is among you that fears the LORD, That obeys the voice of His servant, That walks in darkness and has no light? Let him trust in the name of the LORD and rely on his God. Behold, all you who kindle a fire, Who encircle yourselves with firebrands, Walk in the light of your fire And among the brands you have set ablaze. This you will have from My hand: You will lie down in torment. (Isaiah 50:10-11 NASB)
Let us not lie down in torment but let us take the yoke which You give us in our youth and endure the flaying which You flay us with – because everything is for our good – the “dragon flesh” must be removed and as it is we see a beautiful “new man” within created in the Image of God…
and have put on the new self who is being renewed to a true knowledge according to the image of the One who created him– (Colossians 3:10 NASB)
Let us be honest before You and let us be saved because of our piety before You – saved practically from ourselves – Thank You Jesus…
Any firebrands which I have lit Lord or tried to light – put them out…
All of them…
Let me walk in the darkness rather than trying to create my own light in the darkness…
Let me embrace the darkness which You allow me to walk through…
I embrace it Lord…
Set me free…
Thank You Jesus…
Hi Andrew, Long time no talk. I totally agree with you that we are in a time of transition. I’m now working to rebuild relationships that denominationalism seems to put a wedge between. I also believe we need to be honest about our failings, embrace and treasure the weak and imperfect people who we come across and THEN call them forth into their new life in Christ.
God bless, Gary.
BTW
How is the prayer and word for the Church going? Your city is still in my prayers.
Amen brother, good to hear from you, My old email address doesn’t work anymore (Yahoo one), The new one (Gmail) is andrewjameshorton555@gmail.com, How did the book go? Love in the Lord, Andrew