I watched a couple of YouTube videos which I posted back in late 2013 this morning…

It’s the end of the year and I guess I’ve been reflecting…

One of them was, “You are Magnificent” which was where I was really struggling with a word which the Lord had given me about someone who was very ‘near and dear’ to me at that time and through the uncertainty of the future with that person He brought me to a place of trusting Him…

The next one I felt to watch was “Leadership” https://youtu.be/ECRrTqz3UP0 and this is what has reminded me of my purpose in this world…

It’s amazing how you can listen to yourself preaching and feel that the person preaching isn’t even you – I felt as I listened to that sermon from myself that I’d become a lesser person in my waiting since that time…

Sort of like a blunt razor and that I’d lost the plot so to speak as I’ve been waiting…

I guess that happens…

I felt the Lord wanted me to share that and that He would speak to me…

He wanted me to lay down all I’ve accumulated since then and so I will…

Even though there are parts of me (sin which dwells in me) that resist this…

Father, I come to You and I am challenged and convicted by what I have listened to this morning regarding leadership from that word which You spoke through me back in 2013…

I know that You are speaking to me through that word…

I know that I have lived what I was speaking about and yet there is still the fear of man in me – I am not completely delivered…

I still fear man…

I still care about people’s violent responses to what You would have me to do…

I still calculate the fallout that will come if people really know what I am up to…

I lay that down…

You know what I mean Lord…

I still have – in my mind – a ‘work life’ and a ‘serve God life’ – I am not completely ‘integrated’ where I live before man at work as I am when I share on my blog…

Some of that is appropriate and some not…

Some of it is calculated to make life more bearable – to keep the persecution levels down to a tolerable level until I am released to serve the Lord ‘full time’…

I don’t want to do that anymore…

And there are examples at home of the same thing…

Unpopular things which the Lord wants me to do which others in my immediate family will not understand and so I endeavour to hide them – to reduce the amount of flak which I will receive from them…

Father, I come to You and I ask You to expose me to myself…

Show me what I am really like – practically – show me what remains in my heart – both the good (which You’ve practically created in me) and the bad (sin which dwells in me) – show me what is practically still alive and what needs to be destroyed – what needs to be cultivated and encouraged and what needs Your Fire – as I said in that word which I’ve listened to this morning…

Your Fire is what I need…

I still need Your Fire…

More of Your Fire…

All of Your Fire for my life…

“Let it go Andrew – every word which I have spoken to you about your personal life and your personal happiness – you know of what I speak – let it go”…

“I will give it to you – whatever I decide to give you – in the fullness of time – whatever I decide to do with you in terms of your personal happiness and your most intimate relationships I will give you in due time”…

“Let it go”…

“I do not want you to speak to Me about this anymore”…

“Let it go”…

“Focus on the call – you know the call – the call is to see the salvation of the world and the purification of the saints – this is your call – this is your joy – whoever I bring alongside you to complete this call with you will be made known to you in due season”…

“Let it go – do not ask Me about this again”…

“This is what I am calling you to – a complete focus on the vision which I have given you”…

“Yes, you are correct – I have not yet released you from your job – I have honoured you in your job – I have blessed your job – I have given you many life lessons through your job which you will be able to draw on in your service to Me and I will continue to do this until I release you fully”…

“You are fully released you just haven’t been practically released in human time as yet as I have still things to teach you in the practical work world of which you are still a part”…

“Do not fear men – I gave you that job and I will sustain you in it – I will show others around you what it means not to fear men also – and they will comfort you – they will comfort you in your suffering – I promise you this”…

“Endure Andrew and wait for the promises – this year – you know of what I speak – this year Andrew – wait for the promises”…

“I love you”…

Jesus…