Quite a big thing for women is the issue of whether their husbands find them beautiful…

They are tempted often to wonder, “Is my husband really ‘in love’ with me or would he rather be with that younger more attractive woman?”…

They are thinking in the natural…

For men it is a similar issue, “If I marry this woman will I really love her if I see a more attractive woman?  How can I be sure?”…

“How can we love – in marriage – someone who we don’t find as physically attractive as someone else?” this is another question which comes up…

The answer is that beauty is in the heart…

The Lord has created men and women to love each other in marriage – if that is their gift from God…

Every man and every woman created  – who has this gift – have been prepared by God to be joined together in marriage in an exclusive relationship with one other human being – until death parts them…

The Lord plans these relationships – He is the Divine Matchmaker…

He knows whom He has given to whom and it is all about His will…

He knows us better than we know ourselves…

If He brings two people together then that relationship will work…

He will give to each to give to each other…

The heart of one will love the heart of the other and that is enough…

To each other the members of the relationship might not be the ‘hottest’ or ‘sexiest’ they have ever encountered or seen but they will be the one who will be faithful in loving the other when all the chips are down and when all their dreams and goals have turned to custard and they are reduced to ashes – they will be the one to truly care and accept the other even when all their gold has turned to burning rusting metal…

This is the kind of partner that the Lord gives us…

Do not look for the outward beauty – look for the beauty in the heart…

Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised. (Proverbs 31:30 NASB)

The beauty of the heart is all about acceptance, trust and commitment – and understanding of who you are as a person, what makes you tick, what your life goals are, how you can work together to make these things which the Lord has placed on your heart ‘come true’ – this is the marriage partner who is ‘to be praised’…

Life is a partnership – you need a partner to travel with and enjoy life with – even the difficult times – if this is your gift – marriage – from God…

And He will put you together with someone who ‘gets you’ – at a heart level – so look for the heart…

Do not be deceived by the outward appearance – look for the ruddiness of the heart…

So he sent and brought him in. Now he was ruddy, with beautiful eyes and a handsome appearance. And the LORD said, “Arise, anoint him; for this is he.” (1 Samuel 16:12 NASB)

David’s brothers were more physically imposing and stronger and taller than him but he was the one with the ruddiness of the heart – yes, he was handsome on the outside also but he wasn’t a male model so to speak…

Better the chosen one of the Lord than the most glamorous supermodel who doesn’t get you and doesn’t get what you’re about – who isn’t one with you and doesn’t want to journey with you – they just like your popularity or your job or your status or your money…

This is empty…

The only thing that satisfies in relationships within marriage is the intimacy of heading in the same direction together – in your hearts – this is what spawns physical intimacy – without this intimacy of the heart there is no meaningful physical intimacy…

So it’s not what you look like that is paramount…

It is what the Lord has put on your heart for your marriage partner (or marriage partner to be) which counts…

If you’re still single and reading this and know that God has someone for you but don’t know who – just wait…

Trust God to lead you to this one – He will – for if this is His gift to you – marriage – then this is the way that He will show you Himself – in the marriage relationship…

There is so much to learn and it is all in the heart…

The heart has beauty…

So there is nothing to fear from the ‘snares of the other woman’ in terms of seducing your man away if you have been put together by the Lord and have oneness of heart – all these things the Lord creates – there is no striving in this – this is trust – trust in the Lord to bring you together with the one whom He has chosen and trust in the Lord to keep you together until death parts you – this is your trust and all this trust is in the Lord not in man (who is feeble in his flesh and does stray in his flesh)…

The new heart which the Lord has given to you and to your husband does not stray – it is faithful – and that is what you both are in His sight – new creations – He has called us to cover a multitude of sins with His love…

We all stray in many ways – each of us has our own unique ways of straying known only to ourselves and those whom we and the Lord confide in…

This is not a hindrance to marriage – that is ‘sin within me’ – and that is ‘passing away’, ‘decaying away’ – but the love which the Lord places in our hearts towards our marriage partners is forever…

If in marriage we can accept one another as Christ has accepted us and forgive one another as Christ has forgiven us and realize that we are both works in progress and focus on what the Holy Spirit is doing in our hearts – changing us to practically become more like Christ – if we can keep that focus and keep focusing on the specific call that He has placed on our lives – that call will have brought us together in the first place – then we will succeed in our marriages and our children will see purpose in our homes – and they will see that there truly is something to live for and that this existence isn’t just a hopeless waste of time after all – for that is all the world offers – a hopeless waste of time…