I have been being delivered from this spirit for quite some time now…

It’s like an onion with its layers and layers of skin…

I get excited when I see progress and then the Lord shows me that there is still more…

I see more and more and more through what He reveals to me and what I see “within me” expressing itself through me – or wanting to (depending on whether the Holy Spirit stops it or not) – that truly as Paul says, “there is nothing good in me that is within my flesh”…

After making the confessions of the last few posts I felt quite good about myself (rolling my eyes) and I actually believed that it was “over” now but no, I see that there is yet more…

The Lord took me back to a time where I was growing up – teenage years – where I wasn’t given freedom to “date” by my parents but was expected – because that was what they did – to wait until the Lord showed me who I was to marry and then just “propose” to them basically avoiding any “temptation” or “flirting” or “playing the field”, etc…

Unfortunately that desire as a teenage boy to have “girlfriends” was “blocked” inside me and now as a man I see that that desire is still in there – nothing that we “repress” ever goes away – it stays and it trys to express itself when you least expect it…

I’m really grateful to the Lord that He brings understanding – sometimes it is so depressing to see still more sin – especially in this area of lust for me – still in there needing to be confessed…

I actually felt proud after confessing the other things and when this came up over the weekend I thought, “Oh, no, not another one – what will people think of me?”…

Which showed that I still feared men and wanted their approved – goodness me – what a mess…

I struggled with the Lord yesterday not wanting to have to make this post but sure enough He always wins and here I am making it…

Whatever your struggle with lust is – if you are reading this I believe you will have a story to tell – know that He will deliver you completely – He will – He is delivering me – but it may be a painful process – an iterative process – a layer upon layer process – but you will be free – in His Presence – in His Timing – you can’t “rush” this – I have tried to and it is futile – but in His Timing – the grace is there to confess and the desire leaves to practice lust and the pain and the hatred for it and the sadness when you commit it grows to the point where your new self “spews it out” it just doesn’t want it anymore (not that it ever wanted it) but the truth grows so strong in your new self that it – lust – just can’t remain…

That is in the world through lust is a piece of a verse He gave me last week – it’s such a mess…

I am nothing but what He has made me – I will never be anything other than what He has made me…

I put what my parents thought of me and wanting their praise and worship before exploring relationships with females in my teenage years – I see that now as I share this this morning – I’m sorry Lord for doing this – set me free from all lust – and let me glorify You with my life…

🙂