A Measure of Faith…

I felt fairly grotty today and on into this evening and now early into the small hours of the morning…

I found myself looking back on some posts – quite a number of posts – of a Christian Forum which I used to participate in from 2010 to 2011…

I was fascinated to see the way I started posting on this Forum and how I sort of became “blunted” the more I remained there…

I got too “carried away” and spent too much time posting – I think I got “blunted” – or that was the feeling I got as I recapped this evening / early this morning…

Being sick – head cold and sore throat – is sometimes good for me like this – gives me a chance to think…

I had to smile at a number of the very early posts I made on the Forum – before I got “blunted” – I was coming fresh out of my “wilderness” experience and coming back in some sort of “power” I’d say as I was on an incredible “high” after the Lord had delivered me from some very real “demons” (literally) and I was living the reality of what I’d been really hoping was real – that He would deliver me without any “effort” (striving) on my part to make that happen…

He did – and I was just “oozing” praise towards Him…

I could see after getting “inflicted” with a few “war wounds” how that was “snuffed out” eventually and that Forum “folded” (although I’m sure the Lord told me that He didn’t want that to happen)…

I still feel the pain of that Forum closing – there were a few in particular who I felt their pain but never had a chance to “console” with them and chat through our disappointments…

Anyway, all that to say that each of us are given a measure of faith by the Lord…

I sometimes think, “was that really me saying all those things?” as I look back to some of the things which flowed out from my fingers…

I know they were from the Lord but I feel now so far away from those times, although re-reading them brings a smile (or otherwise) to my heart…

I’m seeing more clearly than ever how much I hate striving…

Galatians 3…

What an amazing chapter…

Faith…

My Mum and I were having a chat in the last couple of days about this issue of the measure of faith…

Each one has received a unique measure from the Lord…

As none of us knows what anyone else’s measure is none of us can be judgemental to anyone else…

None of us can even say, “but they should know that or know better”…

How do we know if they “know that or know better”?

Very liberating…

And also liberating to know that the Holy Spirit uses us as He sees fit…

We are not always on “cloud 9″…

I felt miserable pretty much all day today with a dripping nose, sore throat and we had to move our stuff back into our rental again after being out of our rental for nearly 5 weeks as earthquake repairs were completed on it…

I had a very “spiritual” morning with the Lord showing me more stuff out of the life of Abraham but then after that it was all hard slog and I was in a bad mood all day (we had a Public Holiday here due to Waitangi Day)…

As I sat and re-read a number of posts from this Christian Forum I suddenly saw a number of things…

Firstly, I hate striving…

I loved myself when I was so “shockingly” brazen about not striving…

And this brings glory to God…

Secondly, I don’t want to be linked to anyone who strives…

I don’t want anything to do with them…

God opposes the proud…

I’m seeing that quite clearly…

Thirdly, God “comes and goes” in terms of His “using us”…

Some parts of our lives are incredibly “mundane” and seem free of any “God encounters” and then, there you are, all of a sudden He “shows up” and starts doing “perceivable” things again…

Fourthly (this was after finishing my reading), I realized (again) that God is completely Sovereign in terms of when He will do anything in my life…

As I sit here now some of the things I shared (early on on the Forum) which the Lord had showed me He is now a lot closer in terms of making those things a reality and has been speaking to me again recently (I believe) about how He is going to accomplish them – so I see His persistence…

But there’s nothing I can do to “speed that up” or “strive” or try and align myself…

Sometimes this actually makes me angry with God but I see that this is His prerogative…

It shows me how impatient I am…

I’m left again with an amazing sense of God’s Sovereignty…

And that He is in complete control…

The greatest temptation I faced in that “exposure” to that Christian Forum was the temptation to “shrink back” and “panic” and “strive” and “sort myself out”…

Looking back I’m glad God gave me that experience…

It’s been a learning curve for me…

About andrew james horton

Hi, my name is Andrew James Horton... I am a Kiwi (New Zealander), born in Christchurch (05 September 1971), now in my mid-forties (I feel so old saying that)... I am blessed to be married with five children and six grandchildren... :-) I am at present a Principal Structural Engineer, Director working in Christchurch, New Zealand... I am passionate about prophetic intercession and about revival both in New Zealand and throughout the world... I am passionate to pray that the Church, the Body of Christ, the Bride of Christ, will be all that He - the Lord Jesus Christ - desires her to be in our generation... I felt that the Lord gave me the name of this blog site, "a house of prayer for the nations - prophetic intercession for worldwide revival" and wanted me to "put it out there" and start recording the prayers which are on my heart to pray in the hope that others would also be encouraged to share the prayers which are on their hearts to pray and that in the unity of the Spirit we could participate together in this activity in different locations around the world as He leads us... If the Lord leads you, let's join in prayer for the Lord's will to be done on earth as it is in heaven in our generation... Love in the Lord, Andrew
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s