Pain is a part of life…
There would have been no pain if there had have been no sin…
There is pain because there is sin…
Because of the pain we go through we come to know the Lord more intimately…
I am talking about those of us who know the Lord…
We know the Lord and we go through pain…
Jesus went through pain when He was on earth…
He felt the pain which others were going through and He went through it with them…
Jesus wept…
The shortest statement in the Bible…
Jesus wept…
We are called to weep…
We are called to rejoice with those who rejoice, mourn with those who mourn…
We are called to carry one another’s burdens and so fulfil the Law of Christ…
Telling us that the Law of Christ – the way Christ lived – was to carry one another’s burdens…
And He did…
Right until death…
Right through the Eternal Hell He endured during the three hours of darkness where the Wrath of God fell on Him and He stood in the gap for our sin…
We owe Him our lives…
He laid down His…
He went through the pain…
The closer we get to Him the more pain we endure…
The more pain we carry…
The more burdens we carry…
Not that we are carrying them but He is carrying them through us…
But it still hurts…
The Christian Life is a paradox…
More pain yet more peace…
More pain yet more fulfilment…
More pain yet more comfort…
More pain yet deeper knowledge of Christ…
I want to know Him and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in His sufferings, becoming like Him in His death…
This is the path…
This is what it means to be raised up in Christ…
It means to go down into death…
Deeper and deeper death…
There is no elevation without going down…
Further and further and further down…
This is what we are called to…
When we gave our hearts to the Lord did we know that this is what it would mean?
Probably not…
The good thing is that the Lord saved us and let us know exactly as much as we needed to know each and every step of the way…
He has been carrying us and as the responsibilites increase His Grace also increases…
I can see now how the Rich Young Ruler looked at Jesus and thought “the cost is too great”…
I can see now how many of His disciples (those who were following Him) decided that it was “too hard” and ceased following Him…
Only those who He has chosen will continue following Him – all the others who are “interested only” will fall back and cease to follow Him when they see that this is what the Christian Life promises…
Greater and greater and greater amounts of pain…
Greater and greater and greater amounts of rejection…
Greater and greater and greater amounts of misunderstanding…
Greater and greater and greater amounts of abandonment…
Greater and greater and greater amounts of “hiddenness” and “nothingness” – losing yourself – losing your life that you might be found in Him not having a righteousness of your own but that which comes from faith in Christ – this is what we are called to…
He must increase, I must decrease…
The Lord called me into the desert in around October 2004 to discover what true faith is…
He gave me a parable through a Maori brother who came and shared with Nancy and I…
I knew what the Lord was saying as brother Ken was sharing…
I resigned from my position as a worship leader at my church and left the church (resigned my church membership)…
I stopped doing anything which was “christian”…
I let go of every effort to please God…
My act of obedience was to leave it all behind and let Him make me whatever it was that He wanted to make me without any interference or effort from me…
I look back nearly eight years on and I am glad for what He shared with my heart through brother Ken…
The betrothed in the picture was called out into the desert to follow her Prince, she kept following Him even though He rode on a horse and she had to walk…
She stumbled many times but kept going even though all she could see of Him was a silouthette on the far sand dune…
Her feet were burnt during the day…
She kept going…
Finally as sunset occurred she stumbled and died…
I remember that part of the picture very clearly…
The Prince turned (as if He was waiting for this to occur) and came back and picked up her dead body and put it on His horse and rode off…
This was the parable and the Lord spoke to my heart that I had to leave all I’d ever known in Christianity – all the hype, all the Presence of God, all the striving, all the meetings, all the striving and I had to go out alone into the desert and find Him – find out what true faith was…
As I led worship the next morning in church it was as if scales were lifted from my eyes and I saw what was going on…
I saw that it was not the Revival that I was seeking…
And as the service concluded I knew that I would leave…
As I sat in the car with Ken as we got our fish’n’chips after the service I told him that I’d decided to leave the church – organised religion I suppose – and head out into the desert to find true faith – as I shared this the Presence of God filled the car like I’d never experienced before and Ken put his arm around me and said, “The Father is here”…
That was my commission – to head out into the wilderness…
I am still here although recently I have gone back to a prophetic intercessor’s group which I used to attend…
I will keep going as the Lord leads me…
But the wilderness – the place of losing all position in the eyes of men – being misunderstood – being judged – being condemned – being looked down on – being abused – etc, etc, etc – is a permanent place for those who seek true faith…
It isn’t over…
There is still more…
I am reminded of a picture which Rick Joyner shared in one of his earlier books where he saw a tunnel – a dark tunnel – and it was “creepy” or “scary” or just “not appealing” but it was this tunnel which he had to go down to find the path of true humility (or words to that effect)…
This is where I find myself…
I am approaching this tunnel and find myself already in it…
There aren’t a lot of people in this tunnel…
It is very lonely…
It is a little bit creepy…
The echos make you wonder whether you’re losing your mind…
In this place of darkness, for this is what it is…
All you have is your knowledge that God Loves you – because He said He does and He is not able to lie…
He will never change His Mind that all things work together for good to those who love God – so as the tunnel narrows and darkens and you stumble along on your hands and knees – crawling and being grazed and gashed by the rocks you endure because You know that He who called you here is Faithful…
Even though the tunnel narrows and you are scared of being crushed in a rock fall or earthquake or just the sheer claustrophobia of it – you endure – you continue…
This is what God has called us to…
The Cloak of Humility – The Cloak of Nothingness – is what He has called us to…
Lifting others up…
Not seeking the limelight…
Going where no one else will go…
Doing what no one else will do…
Following Him wherever He might lead…
Not waiting for anyone to go with you…
Just going…
Just doing…
Not seeking to be understood…
Not seeking to be rewarded…
Not seeking to be elevated…
Wanting the exact opposite…
To go lower…
To go lower…
To go lower…
This is where I find myself…
This is the desire which the Lord has placed on my heart…
O my dear fellow brothers and sisters in the Lord…
Does your heart burn with this desire?
Does it burn with this desire?
Has the Lord placed this desire on your heart?
In this place where earthly joy and earthy support is banished are you content to find all your joy and completeness in Him?
He is here in this place…
He is near to the brokenhearted…
To those who are crushed in spirit…
To those who let go of the control over their own lives…
Who die daily to the control which would cause them to perform or put on a face or a facade or an image – to those who are ready for the Lord to unmask them and show them what lies within them and then to walk through with the Lord the process for this to be unmasked and removed…
He is near the brokenhearted, to the crushed in spirit – to the poor in spirit…
There is a Kingdom for them…
but it is not of this world…
It is the Kingdom within their hearts…
It is the place within them where the Rule of God Reigns…
Where Jesus is seated in their hearts…
Where there is peace within…
Where there is the absence of fear within them…
The Presence of Faith…
Paul was chained but he was not chained…
The Word of God was not chained through Paul…
He went down – he got what he asked for…
But now there is stored up for me a crown of righteousness…
This is what he said…
His reward was stored up for him…
This life is not our life…
Our life is hidden with Christ in God…
We are to receive a Saviour from Heaven – Jesus Christ the Righteous…
This is our life…
This is our Reward…
Jesus Christ Himself…
We know Him in this life – we know Him for eternity…
There is nothing else in this life but Him…
Nothing…
All the things we go through are nothing without Him…
There is no love in this world without Him…
He is all we have…
The crushing reveals Him…
The crushing is our friend…
Faithful are the wounds of a friend…
He crushes us so that we might be a blessing and so that our flesh can be destroyed…
And that our new man might live…
Praise His Wonderful Name…
I am in pain but I am blessed…
I am not seeking for my pain to be removed…
I am seeking to know Him in it…
For the rest of my life…
Praise His Wonderful Name…
The lower I go the more I know Him…
He meets me here…
In the lowest place…
a house of prayer for the nations 
Thanks Andrew,
That’s what I’m feeling about the current season. God is training up a people who know Him and are sensitive to His voice in the wilderness. They are away from the hype and the traditions of men, being build and joined into a people who will powerfully declare and demonstrate God’s power.
Amen brother… 🙂 May it be in our lives, May it be in our lives, Amen brother… 🙂 Thank You Jesus… 🙂 Make us into men who seek Your Face and seek Your Face Alone… Make us into men who speak before Your Face in the Fear of God and not in the fear of man… Oh Hallelujah Lord – in Your Presence is fullness of joy and Eternal Pleasures at Your Right Hand – even when we are confessing sin Lord let us confess it “in Your Presence” where there is fullness of joy and Eternal Pleasures at Your Right Hand and not in fear or in anxiety or in the fear of man but in Peace as we stand in Your Presence covered by Your Blood – let us make our confessions of the sins of the forefathers in Your Presence and in Your Peace – enable us to do so Lord and let this nation and let this world be freed from the sins of the forefathers and live in the Love and Freedom of Christ as You have intended Lord in this generation… Thank You Jesus – bless brother Gary Lord – bless him with all the blessings of heaven in his heart – let his heart know You – let his heart cry out to know You more and more and more – fill him with an insatiable desire to know You in the Mighty Name of Jesus and none other in the Mighty Name of Jesus, Amen Lord – Thank You for brother Gary and all that he has been through for You – lift him up Lord by taking him lower in the Mighty Name of Jesus and take me lower with him in the Mighty Name of Jesus – let us come to the end of ourselves and find ourselves in You in the Mighty Name of Jesus – this is what we seek – Thank You Lord… Worship You Jesus – Stand still and see the salvation of the Lord is what You say Lord – Yes Lord, I will stand still and I believe Gary will stand still with me in the Mighty Name of Jesus – bring Your deliverance to us Lord in the Mighty Name of Jesus as we wait upon You to do so… Love you Lord…